


How Charged With Punishments the Scroll

by SilverSlashes



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Civil War Fix-It, Discussions of mental illness, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Genius Shuri (Marvel), M/M, Mild Kink, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:55:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverSlashes/pseuds/SilverSlashes
Summary: “I just, I’m not always great with words, but I saw how Tony talked about you and then I saw how you talked about Tony and I just, well, I couldn’t unsee it. But then we came back here and now I see the way I look at Tony and I can’t unsee him the way you do… the way he’s meant to be seen.”Steve scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair before speaking, “Even if we can get Tony on board, it’s not gonna be easy Buck.”Bucky gave a familiar, relaxed shrug, “defending your aggressive, skinny ass in every back alley in Brooklyn wasn’t easy either, but it was worth it.”*AKA the Civil War fix-it story that ends in Stuckony bliss.





	How Charged With Punishments the Scroll

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the poem Invictus.
> 
> Please be kind as this is my first time writing in a while AND my first time out in the Marvel fandom. And, dare I say, what the fuuuuck was I thinking? Rules for life kids: one, don’t invade Russia in the winter, two, your first time out in a fandom, do an AU. 
> 
> Just an FYI, I started this fic before seeing Black Panther, after which I tried my best to go back and match-up as much as I could to make it Black Panther compliant while sticking with the CA:CW narrative and ignoring the FUCK out of Infinity War because that movie will break me and these people deserve some happiness until then.

Steve stood looking once again into the glass window of the cryotube at the face as familiar as his own. It had been hard to say goodbye, and so soon. How many times was Bucky going to slip through his fingers? How many times was Steve going to have to watch him fall out of reach?

And yet, what else could he have done, but to grant Bucky’s wish to sleep until a solution could be found to the trigger words? Steve hadn’t needed his imagination and a bunch of old HYDRA files to know Bucky hadn’t made an autonomous decision about himself in a long time… and certainly not any decisions recently that were respected. Steve had respected this one.

And in the searing, burning part of his gut that maybe his soul lived in all Steve really had to hear was Bucky’s soft, trailed off whisper of, “Howard was my friend too…” and he’d agreed to the cryo solution.

There was no question, Steve would give Bucky whatever he needed, whatever he wanted, to heal him. Even if it wouldn’t heal any of the wounds that left scars all over an abandoned HYDRA base in Russia, left scars on a shield that Steve knows he doesn’t deserve to hold anymore, left scars on all the ex-Avengers seeking shelter here in Wakanda, and left scars on Steve’s heart that seem to pull painfully tight with every thudding beat.

“Captain,” Shuri addressed him – smart, brilliant, upbeat, funny Shuri. Steve’s positive that she’s gonna take over the world one day. She’s really already started.

Steve nodded, “just Steve, remember?”

She grinned, “Steve, I believe we have isolated all of the trigger words and are ready to move forward with the procedure to wipe them.”

Steve glanced back at Bucky’s face through the tube, “will he remember being the soldier?”

Shuri nodded, “he will remember everything he did as the Winter Soldier. He will remember all his training and his experiences in the world during those decades.”

She hesitated before continuing, “I thought it… unwise… to take those memories from him. While they are no doubt… unpleasant… they are also necessary to keeping him safe. After all, what if you couldn’t remember all the people who might want you dead?”

Steve swallowed the lump of unease the entire conversation was giving him. Shuri wasn’t wrong though, “Do we have any way of knowing how he’ll wake-up? I mean, what state he’ll be in?”

“There is no guarantee, but keep in mind that Bucky’s pain and confusion and fear didn’t just come from his memories of being the soldier, or having the trigger words looming over him, it also came from a disassociation with his memories of who he was before. When he wakes up this time he’ll be more like James Buchanan Barnes then he’s been since HYDRA got their hands on him.”

Shuri placed her hand on Steve’s arm and squeezed, for all of her youthful exuberance Steve sometimes forgot that Shuri had seen a lot of very serious things and dealt with a lot of adult responsibilities in her short life, “We cannot know for sure, but I have done everything I can to make sure that for every awful memory Sergeant Barnes has to live with, he now has a good one to contend with it… and that’s the best any of us can hope for… yeah?”

Steve felt tears on the edge of his vision, but he swallowed it all down, “Thank you, Princess.”

She smiled, “Once we are assured it went well and his brain has healed, we will begin the process to awaken Sergeant Barnes.”

Shuri continued, “with your permission I would like to move him out of the lab once the procedure is done. There is a village, remote and beautiful, outside the city. You can wait for him to wake-up there. I think that Sergeant Barnes deserves to wake-up some where other than a lab for once, yeah? We can bring him back here once he’s awake. We’ll take care of the arm situation then.”

He nodded, “let’s proceed”.

It had been a long few months, but Steve would do it all over again for Bucky. Anything, for Bucky. And while he knows there are certainly protect-the-innocent-overtones to that instinct that he can altruistically attribute to Captain America; the truth is, deep down Steve Rogers just wants his best friend back, no matter the collateral damage. And that’s something that Steve can’t forgive himself.

 

Bucky flexed his fingers, his wrist, and his elbow. He rotated his shoulder, feeling and hearing the arm work to calibrate before he reared back and landed a solid punch to the sand bag, which trembled ominously.

“You know, when I woke-up and S.H.I.E.L.D told me where I was, _when_ I was, I literally destroyed hundreds of punching bags,” Steve said, grinning from the other side of the bag, “they even had R &D try to design something I couldn’t destroy in a few minutes.”

“I was angry, that I’d never really see my home again, that I was adrift in this strange, new world where everything was so different and nothing had changed. I think that some of the anger never really went away. I just got busy, and then I got good at burying it or redirecting it.”

Bucky looked up, tossing the hair out of his eyes, “Well, I’d like to try and destroy this indestructible punching bag. Anything you can do, I can do better, Stevie.”

Steve chuckled as Bucky smirked, but those _finally clear_ blue eyes tracked away from him for a second before Bucky spoke softly but firmly, “I’m sorry you had to go through that… Christ, I’m sorry you had to go through all of it.”

Steve tried to cut in, “Jesus, Buck, what _I_ went through? What you…”

Bucky continued over him, “but, you should know that you’re not gonna have to orient me like that. I know what the solider knew. I spent a little time awake in each decade. I’ve got all the basics down.”

Bucky raised one perfect eyebrow and said, “cellphones, am I right? Better than that stupid flying car.”

Steve laughed, but cut off abruptly as Bucky reached out his real hand to place it over Steve’s where he was holding the punching bag still, locking eyes with Steve before saying, “and, well, we both know that my home has always been you… so, as far as I’m concerned, I woke-up with everything I need.”

Steve sucked in a breath, blinked his eyes a few times as if to clear them, “you sure we can get back to that? We don’t have to, Buck. I’ll take you whatever way I can get you… I always will.”

Bucky shrugged, “I’m willing to take whatever you’re willing to give… I always will.”

“You know, we wouldn’t have to hide anymore. We wouldn’t have to sneak around,” Steve tried not to let himself hope too much, that he could have this again after a lifetime.

Bucky smiled, the slanted smirk he always wore when he was sure about something, “you mean I wouldn’t have to keep trying to drag your ass out on double dates with dames just to look at you over the table like we were the only two people in the damn place?”

Steve laughed a little before sobering again, “you know, if things had been different I would have married Peggy…”

Bucky pulled his hand away from Steve’s and Steve’s heart gave a sudden lurch before settling into place when Bucky only pressed forward, stepping around the punching bag to bring his body closer to Steve’s, “talk about an impressive dame. I miss her.”

Steve nodded, not even able to put into words still how much it hurt to lose the future he might have had with Peggy when duty and grief had driven him to put that plane in the ice. A reopened wound now that he had truly lost her just months ago.

Bucky reached up, clapping his hand onto Steve’s shoulder and squeezing before saying, “and I liked her for you. I really did.”

Steve nodded, “me too, Buck.”

Bucky squeezed Steve’s shoulder again, “and that niece of hers… I like her too.”

Steve sighed. This is what he and Bucky did. This code they had worked out. When you were a deviant, like they would have been called back then, and God but Steve hated that word, you had to have a sort of code.

I like her for you meant _you have permission_ to proceed. They had never been disillusioned at least. Both of them had known, back when they thought the war was something they might come back from, that the best-case scenario was marriage to good women who thought Steve and Bucky were just the best of friends. That’s what the world thought too. That’s what all those exhibits said – _a friendship for the ages_.

But, this was a different lifetime, and they didn’t have to talk in code anymore.

Steve looked down into blue eyes so alike and so different from his own, taking Bucky’s hand off his shoulder and kissing his palm, “I like you for me, Buck.”

Bucky smiled, a little tired and a little hopeful, “till the end of the line?”

Steve huffed out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, “I think we already made it farther than that.”

Bucky surged up to place his lips onto Steve’s, their mouths relearning each other, their tongues flicking together as they opened up. They groaned almost at the same time, breaking apart to grin stupidly at one another before lunging back together.

It was a kiss 70 years in the making, and Steve thought of the last time they had kissed this fiercely. The last time they had kissed at all. Behind a derelict train station somewhere in the Alps before everything went to hell. Bucky had still been getting used to Steve being bigger than him, trying to lead even though Steve had a few inches on him now. It had been freezing cold and snowing.

Steve pulled Bucky tighter against him, using a little of his strength because Bucky could match him now… neither one of them had to be careful anymore. Steve reached out to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair, the soft strands moving easily across Steve’s skin.

Bucky pulled away panting, “I’m thinking about cutting it. You know? Like it used to be.”

Steve gripped a handful of it to tug Bucky’s head back so he could nibble at the taunt cords in his neck, listening to the pleasurable hiss that Bucky gave. Steve knew all his favorite spots, “I like it.”

Steve felt Bucky’s hand land on his cheek, his thumb stroking over the hair there now, “I like the beard.”

Steve chuckled, “do you now?”

Bucky let out a jittery breath as Steve sucked a mark over his collarbone, “Punk.”

Steve laughed, “Jerk.”

 

If it wasn’t a car battery strapped to his chest, it was a black hole and the unforgiving vastness of space.

If it wasn’t a black hole, it was the screams of thousands of people as an entire city plunged out of the air.

If it wasn’t a falling city, it was the crushing weight and ringing clang of a shield connecting with his chest.

Tony wasn’t sleeping well. He folded and re-folded the letter. He flipped the burner phone over and over in his hands like a meditation stone.

At a knock on his office door he shoved both back into his desk drawer, standing as Pepper entered with T’Challa on her heels.

Tony stuck his hand out to shake, “Your Highness.”

T’Challa smiled, “no need for that Mr. Stark.”

Tony nodded slightly, and then grimaced, “so, how are they?”

T’Challa simply starred back at him and Tony rolled his eyes, wondering over to his desk and swinging his laptop around, “don’t play dumb. I know they’re all in Wakanda with you. I’ve had FRIDAY searching the globe for any hint, any whisper… and nothing. _Not a thing._ It’s not that I don’t think they’re good. I just think FRIDAY is better. So, how do I account for this? Well, they must not be on the playing field as it were.”

Tony perched on the side of the desk, closing the laptop, “and so, I asked myself, where is the one place on the planet that modern technology cannot penetrate? What is one country that guards it’s boarders and it’s people and it’s culture so closely that no one has ever gotten in?”

Tony swept his hands out in a dramatic gesture, “hence, my question to you. How are they?”

T’Challa turned to look out the windows of Tony’s office, stepping away for a moment as if to collect his thoughts before turning back towards Tony, “they are as can be expected. Fugitives. Hunted by the very people they protected…”

Tony winced, “I’m working on it.”

“I know. That, and the fact that no one can truly enter Wakanda without my knowledge and permission, is why I confirmed your assumption as to their location.”

Tony shrugged, “I’m not trying to go where I’m unwelcome. I’m simply trying to make it so that they can go where they want again.”

T’Challa nodded, “you would be surprised, Man of Iron, where you are welcome.”

Tony blinked once and looked away, moving off the desk, hands into his pockets, “I’m going to pretend I understand your riddle and…”

T’Challa stepped forward, closer to Tony than he had been when they shook hands, “James Buchanan Barnes has been wiped of the Winter Solider. You should know that. The man who killed your parents is dead.”

Tony took a step back, “if you think what happened in Russia was about murder and not about lies, then you weren’t paying attention.”

T’Challa moved swiftly around the desk and opened one of the drawers before Tony could move to stop him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The Wakandan King looked up from the drawer with a barely there smile, “did you know we get cell phone reception in Wakanda?”

Tony’s eyes burned from across the desk, “be that as it may, should we move on, finally, to the reason for your visit today?”

T’Challa shrugged, “I told you I would testify at the hearing tomorrow about what I witnessed regarding Russia.”

Tony nodded, “you’ll also speak against the Accords?”

“I intend to, yes.”

“Then let’s review some of the questions these jackasses have already grilled me with, I’m sure you’ll be given the same ignorant treatment. Government panels couldn’t find their way out of a fucking paper bag.”

Tony spent the better part of the afternoon catching T’Challa up on what he had been doing behind the scenes to combat the issues with the Accords. To bring into the public sphere what had been done to the Avengers in the dark. The threats. The secret prison. The idea that they were something that could be owned or controlled. The reality that the collateral damage somehow heaped on them as their fault was in fact simply a consequence of SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD AGAIN… you’re welcome.

It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right that people had died while the Avengers fought to save them. But, the outcome of that was the entire planet got to go on existing. Tony, and the rest of the world, would have to find a way to live with that.

Only about half of Tony’s brain capacity was strategizing with T’Challa. The other half was in the top drawer of his desk, left open by T’Challa’s unwelcome snooping.

_I know I hurt you Tony. I guess I thought, by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but… I can see now I was really sparing myself. I’m sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand._

The nightmares were near constant these days. Tony was fighting his mistakes night and day; this mess with the Accords during the day and then a repeat of his failures and his near-misses and his weaknesses at night.

Never let it be said that Tony Stark wasn’t the king of unhealthy coping mechanisms. He practically had it trademarked. After the first month of interrupted sleep he had gone searching for all Howard’s old movies of the war. Tony had made JARVIS digitize them so they wouldn’t be lost. He had loaned clips and pieces out to museums for Captain America, Howling Commandos, and Project Rebirth exhibits… the declassified bits.

But there were clips that Tony kept for himself. He found the one he was looking for right away. It had the most plays of all the files. It had been his favorite a very long time ago. When the men on the screen were ideals that Tony could live-up to and not flesh-and-blood, returned-from-the-dead, super-humans who could let him down.

Tony glanced sideways at the phone and letter; replaying the video clip he’d watched again last night in his mind. A much less care-worn Captain America, his chinstrap hanging loose, his arm slung around a smirking James Buchanan Barnes, was talking into the camera. They were laughing about something, though the clip was silent.

This Cap didn’t know he’d lose the only person in the world he had left to hold onto. This Cap didn’t know he’d crash a plane only to wake-up almost a century later. And this Barnes, this “Bucky,” had no idea that one day someone would brainwash him into wrapping his cold, metal hand around Maria Stark’s throat until her life was extinguished.

But in the video, in that moment on screen, none of that was a thought and before Tony’s eyes were just two extraordinary best friends facing the world together and doing their best to change it for the better… from Brooklyn, New York to Nazi occupied Europe. That was what Tony had been fighting against in that HYDRA base in Russia. And he had been a fool to think he’d win over something like that.

 

“Mr. Stark, the committee is ready to hear your closing comments regarding the Accords to the panel.”

Tony stood up and put his hands in his pockets, feeling the burner phone where he had shoved it that morning, not really knowing why.

_So no matter what, I promise you, if you need us…if you need me…I'll be there._

Tony cleared his throat, “I’m aware that this entire circus has been televised. And, why not? The American people, hell, the world needs to see this. It needs to hear everything I’ve said. And, so, these closing remarks are not in fact for this counsel, cobbled together by the United Nations and other such,” Tony made air quotes, “joint governmental bodies of oversight.”

“No, what I have to say is to the people watching,” Tony turned to look into the camera.

“A friend once told me that his faith was in people, in individuals, and that, for the most part, they haven’t let him down. You see, Captain America… or as some of you have called him, Fugitive Number One, believes in the goodness inherent in most people. No one is perfect, each of us Avengers are not perfect, I’ve certainly never claimed perfection… just ask the gossip rags,” Tony smiled deprecatingly.

“But, what the Avengers stand for is defending that goodness in the world. And each time the world has been attacked or threatened, sometimes from without, sometimes from within, we have worked individually and collectively to save it. Have there been casualties? Yes. Would many more people have died if we had done nothing? Yes. Do I expect that to make Charles Spencer’s mother feel better?” Tony held up a picture of a college-age kid, “no, I do not.”

“It was for Charles that I signed the Accords. It was for everyone like him, every innocent person who died while we were trying to save the world, that I tried to convince the rest of the Avengers to sign. I thought that we needed oversight. I thought that the Accords could provide that. That’s not what happened.”

Tony sighed, “The Accords were not guidelines as I had hoped. They were a thinly veiled attempt at collaring the Avengers. The Accords would certainly prevent the Avengers from hurting anyone else, but now I see that they would also make sure we never saved anyone else either. And when some of the Avengers decided not to sign, instead of letting them leave the team, they were locked away in a secret facility of which I have shown you proof. Without due process. Without due cause.”

Tony looked to the counsel, “if the Avengers initiative can be controlled, regulated, and used at the whim of some governing body – even a benevolent one, even a humanitarian one, even a global one – then we can be misused.”

“I’ve told you the story of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. I have had a credible eyewitness, someone who also once believed in the Accords, explain to you how corruption and deceit can overcome goodness. In the wrong hands, with the wrong oversight, we each have the power to become the Winter Solider. There was a reason I was always so hesitant to align myself as Iron Man with any single government or agency. And yet, I have made mistakes as both Tony Stark and as Iron Man. Which is why I signed the Accords in the first place. But now I see, after also being threatened with incarceration, asset seizing, and many other things I’ve labored out from underneath to bring you the truth… I see, that the safest hands are still my own.”

“And so I ask the American people. The next time an alien invasion tries to come through a hole in space. The next time HYDRA tries to infiltrate the government. Or the next time something tries to terrorize or destroy the city or country or world that you live in… are you going to want the Avengers to assemble? Or are you going to want the Avengers to wait and ask for a vote from the committee who oversees us if we could assemble and then wait for their decision? If your issue with us is civilian casualties, I promise you that this is not the method to stop them.”

Tony felt the cellphone again, “Captain America has been labeled a war criminal. Think about that. The beacon of truth and justice, who fought Nazis, and took down HYDRA, has been labeled a criminal because he refused to bow to a system that he’s seen corrupted again and again and _again_.”

Tony looked into the camera once more, “the Avengers are not without their problems. And I hope I speak for all of us when I say we are ready to work to gain the trust back of the people… to gain back what the Accords and other…” Tony’s voice cracked and he had to clear his throat to continue, “and other disagreements took from us.”

“But we will do it on the terms of the citizens of this planet we protect. We will do it on terms we find acceptable. Not collared at the end of a leash held by people whose motives we can never truly trust.”

“I’m choosing to place my trust in the goodness of individuals. I’m asking for everyone watching to do what you can to make it clear to this committee, to your government, and to both myself and the other Avengers who are watching from somewhere today, what you want the ultimate decision to be.”

 

Bucky looked consideringly at the screen they were watching Tony’s address on. He looked over at Steve’s slightly shocked face. He looked back at the screen as Tony spoke with his lawyer at the table as people filed out of the proceedings and the cameras rolled a little longer. Bucky ran back over Tony’s speech in his head. He already knew the parts Steve would scoff at; the parts where he would say Tony was being too generous. Steve never saw himself as he was. Then again, not many people bothered seeing Steve as he was either. Nobody had ever defended Steve like that except Bucky himself, and Peggy. Except Tony had. That was worth some contemplation.

 _I like him for you_ , Bucky thought while Steve continued to stare through the TV, lost in his own thoughts. He was probably thinking about the burner phone, the one he always kept in his pocket or charging on his nightstand. The one Bucky hadn’t asked about. He hadn’t needed to. Maybe he should ask now.

Bucky cleared his throat, “you never told me he felt like that about you.”

Steve’s brow wrinkled, “like what?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “don’t be stupid, Stevie.”

Steve frowned, “I told you, we were friends. Until the Accords. Until…” Steve’s frown deepened, “until I lied about yo… his parents.”

Bucky tried really hard not to roll his eyes at Steve. It would be like waving a red flag at a bull. Steve was always the last to know how someone felt about him. He couldn’t see it when people saw him… maybe from years of being invisible. Bucky would set off fucking fireworks in his face if it meant getting Steve to realize how much he was worth seeing. Instead he pointed at the TV, “If you think that what Stark just said was because of _friendship_ then you’re an idiot,” Bucky looked away.

Steve shook his head like a dog with water in his ears and ignored what Bucky was saying, of course, in favor of thinking through Tony’s speech, “he quoted the letter I wrote him. And T’Challa must have told him about you because he went to bat for you, which doesn’t make any sense…”

A voice from the doorway startled both mean, “Mr. Stark has known where you are based on his own assumptions for some time. He is aware that the Winter Solider is dead.”

Steve laced his fingers through Bucky’s who felt warmth blossom in his chest at the gesture, “have you given him permission to come here?”

T’Challa glanced at their joined hands and then away as if it didn’t matter and Steve was still getting used to that, “he did not ask. But, I intimated that if this Accords issue does not go the way it should, that he and anyone else needing protection would be welcome in Wakanda.”

Steve nodded, looking to Bucky, “we need to gather the others so they can see this,” he waved at the TV, “and we need to discuss what we want to do, whatever the outcome is.”

T’Challa turned to leave the room he had just entered, “I will let the others know. They were probably watching it as well. Team meeting in 30 minutes, Captain?”

Steve smirked, “team? Are you part of that now?”

T’Challa smirked back, “you are short a member, I believe. Banner has returned but not the Asgardian. Who better to fill-in for a god than a king.”

Steve grinned, “if you say so, Your Highness.”

With that T’Challa was gone and Steve looked back over to Bucky as his hand was squeezed.

Bucky tried again because he needed to have this conversation, “Steve, I’m serious. Tell me about your relationship with Tony.”

Steve rubbed his thumb back and forth over the back of Bucky’s hand, thinking about where to start, “he’s got all of Howard’s cockiness and exuberance. But his time in Afghanistan, sort of like Howard’s time in the war, sobered him a bit from what I’ve read, what I’ve heard. I didn’t know him before, but there are videos and Nat said… well, anyway.”

Steve smiled, “And, Buck, I know it’s hard to believe, but he’s smarter than Howard. And of course, he’s more… modern. He likes the dames and the fellas, you know? It’s hard not to know actually, he’s been pretty public about his life… he’s had to be, I suppose.”

“I know all there is to know about Tony Stark, Steve,” Bucky tapped his temple, “Target 634007. Kill Priority 8. Threat Assessment Level 9.”

“Jesus, Buck.”

Bucky shrugged, “I don’t want to know about Tony Stark. I want to know about you and Tony.”

Steve made a frustrated noise, “why ya gotta say it like that, huh? I told you. It’s not like that. It was never like that.”

Bucky hadn’t felt this keenly about someone else and Steve since he’d stood in that bar watching Steve and Peggy make eyes at each other like Bucky was wallpaper, “That’s bullshit Steve. You know the last time I heard someone talk about you the way Tony Stark just did? Peggy.”

“I don’t understand,” Steve let go of Bucky’s hand then, rising from the couch and moving away, curling and uncurling his fists.

Bucky repeated patiently, “tell me about you and Tony. I’ve gotten to see your dynamic with the rest of the team here. But, tell me what it was like between you and Tony before.”

“It was…,” Steve stopped to think for a minute, to remember, “It was a partnership. Everyone assumed I was the leader of the Avengers. And maybe I was… am… the team leader. But Tony is the figurehead. He was the beginning of Fury’s plan. He had the resources to put us all together. He gave me… he gave us a home. He worked to make us a team… we used to have movie nights…”

Steve trailed off, his gaze fixed somewhere Bucky couldn’t follow, “he is my friend. Or, he was. But, I had to choose. I chose you. He chose the Accords.”

“Looks like he’s changed his mind about a lot of it.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it out, “I don’t think he’s ever gonna change his mind about what I kept from him, Buck.”

Steve returned to the couch, sinking back down beside Bucky, “You know, we hated each other at first? I think a lot of that was an external influence, a long story, alien tech, you know the deal,” Bucky gives the barest hint of a smile as Steve continued, “but, we still had moments where we rubbed each other the wrong way.”

“Sorta like you and I, huh?” One of Bucky’s eyebrows rose on the huh part, daring Steve somehow.

“What?”

Bucky smirked, “You gotta thing for strong-headed brunettes, Stevie. Me. Peggy. Tony?”

“What?”

Bucky laughed at that, “you sound like a broken record. You really haven’t gotten any smarter since I fell off that train.”

Steve flinched, his posture closing in like Bucky punched him, “don’t, Buck, don’t joke like that.”

“Sorry, Punk,” Bucky smiled an apology and reached to place his hand over the back of Steve’s neck, squeezing once before letting go, “but the thought still stands. You’re an idiot. You can play the co-leader, friendship card over and over again, but you and I both know what it looks like on the other side of that cover story, huh?” Bucky leaned forward to brush his lips over the corner of Steve’s mouth and Steve swayed forward into the touch. It was a power Bucky knew he was never gonna truly deserve, this sway he had over Steve. Maybe it was only fair, Steve sure had a tight grip on Bucky’s heart.

Steve couldn’t decide if he was tired or exasperated or annoyed, “I don’t understand why you’re pushing the issue. We’re us again. Tony and I will get back to where we were or we won’t. Why would you want anything more to happen?”

Good question. Why would Bucky want Steve even knowing what Bucky could clearly see – that Tony Stark was carrying a torch for Steve Rogers. Maybe it was because Tony reminded Bucky so much of Peggy. Maybe it was because Bucky had always had a hard time begrudging Steve anything. Maybe it was that the idea of having to share Steve had always hurt Bucky more than he could possibly put into words until he saw the way Peggy looked at Steve, the way she treated him. That had been the first dame that Bucky had thought deserved Steve… and suddenly the idea of Steve with someone other than Bucky hurt less than it ever had before.

Bucky had his share of self-worth issues to work through, but he wasn’t dumb. There were a few truths in this new reality he had found himself in and one of them was that he and Steve weren’t gonna be separated again as long as they were both still breathing. He wasn’t planning on grand-gesturing Steve over to Tony… as if he could make Steve do anything. Fucking punk. But, who was Bucky to not at least clue Steve in to the glaringly obvious fact, at least to Bucky, that someone had just made a globally watched speech about how Steve had hung the freaking moon?

Admittedly the situation called for delicacy, which was not Bucky’s thing on a good day so he just said, “I can share.”

And just like that Steve landed on annoyed, a stop light flickering to red, “Share me? Share me?! What the fuck Bucky?”

Bucky shrugged, “wasn’t that long ago, or I suppose it was, I thought I’d have to give you up entirely. Then I thought I lost you utterly. And you think I can’t share you? I’ll say it again Steve, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”

“I’m trying to tell ya, Buck. You’ve got me. All of me. Every which way.”

“I know. I know. But, Steve, you’ve got to have heard what Tony said, right? I mean, I heard it. And I could pretend I didn’t. We could just pretend that this conversation never happened. What we have is more than we could have ever hoped for and we can finally have it out in the open. I’m not giving you up for anything or anyone. End of line, remember?”

Bucky leaned in and pressed his mouth to Steve’s hard, tongue coming out for a second to flicker at Steve’s top lip before pulling away, “but, maybe Tony could be part of that too.”

 

Steve and Bucky walked into the team meeting together. Everyone else was already there. It was chaos with everyone shouting everyone else down about Tony’s speech and the protests already popping up in cities throughout the world… most of them overwhelmingly in their favor.

Everyone quieted down when Steve entered; Bucky, standing silently by his side, startled only slightly when Steve reached for his hand. As their fingers laced together they both surveyed the room, taking in the reaction.

Bruce seemed non-pulsed. Wanda wasn’t even looking at them. Clint’s eyes bugged out before a shit-eating grin took over his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but Natasha’s hand was suddenly there muffling his speech. Meanwhile she had one perfect eyebrow arched and a smirk firmly on her face. Sam was staring a hole through Steve and Bucky’s intertwined fingers, not shocked or offended, but almost as if a puzzle he had been working had fallen into place.

T’Challa stepped forward quietly, “we need to discuss what to do about these protests, and Stark, and the committee's decision.”

Clint moved Natasha’s hand, “I’m not feeling forgiving about any of it, to be honest. I mean, best case scenario they decriminalize us for something we didn’t do wrong in the first place. Fuck that.”

Steve nodded, “that’s certainly one way of looking at it.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “and I’m sure you’re going to tell us another way of looking at it?”

“We all know I should shoulder some of the blame for what happened,” he looked briefly at Bucky, “and while I don’t regret my decisions I certainly regret what Tony and I’s disagreement did to this team.”

Bucky spoke up, “Steve and I were the ones who saw Tony at the base, after he had seen the prison. He seemed to be coming around, already changing his mind about everything. If he hadn’t seen that video…”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand, “I lied to Tony. I lied by omission, but I lied. I’ve explained all this to each of you. We already told you everything that happened. Tony is not blameless in this. But, we don’t get to come at this from the high road.”

Clint argued, “HE created Ultron…”

“I helped,” Bruce answered honestly.

Clint repeated over him, “Tony created Ultron and now he feels guilty about it and so he thought the Accords would keep him in check, except that we all paid the price.”

Natasha shrugged, “It wouldn’t have mattered what Tony thought of the Accords… they were gonna try to put us down with or without his help.”

Wanda spoke for the first time, “I never said what I saw in each of your minds.”

Everyone jerked their heads toward her. She had never spoken of what she had done when she had attacked them before defecting to their side.

She held her hand up as a spark of red flared to life and died, “you think that I showed you something I made-up, a mirage, a trick. But it was no trick. I simply caused you to experience a magnification of your emotions – fear, anger, regret despair. What you saw was just a manifestation of those emotions. And I saw what you saw.”

She looked to Steve before glancing away, “and I regret that I cannot un-know that pain. That I intruded like that. And so, I kept it all to myself.”

She stood and walked into the center of the room and held her hands out, “but, I think the time has come for you to see what Tony saw. I think it is important to the future of this team. I suspect that Tony’s reasoning for Ultron, and to a certain extent the Accords, had everything to do with what I saw when I magnified his negative emotions.”

She gestured for them to come closer, “place your hands on me. It will be easier that way. Close your eyes.”

They each hesitated for a second, but when Steve pressed forward to place his hand on Wanda’s wrist, they each moved into position to form a point of contact with her.

“Ready?” She didn’t wait for an answer.

Steve could see a great hole in space. He looked out at the black expanse with earth in the center of the hole. A portal. He recognized this, the Chitauri invasion, except he had seen it from the other side. He realized with a startled revelation that this had been what Tony had seen. The ships moving towards the opening to invade. Except there was no one to stop them it seemed.

He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and looked down. His heart stopped in his chest. He was looking at a pile of rubble – maybe the dead earth of some planet. A pile of rocks it looked like. Spread among the rocks were the Avengers, all in various states of dying. Thor was there, his blonde hair streaked red and his hammer ruined at his side. Natasha lay still and unnaturally posed. The Hulk was wheezing, his eyes fluttering as he tried to move.

Steve followed the movement in his peripheral vision to where Tony was kneeling at the bottom of the pile. Steve watched as Tony reached out to touch his hand gently to Steve’s own neck… the Steve laying broken at the bottom of this pile of rubble. The only Steve that Tony could see. The Steve of Tony’s darkest imagination and fear it seemed.

This is what Tony had seen? All of them dead, defeated. It was horrifying. But, then, it got worse. Steve watched himself regain consciousness, gripping the arm Tony had reached towards him. Tony knelt, frozen as the dying Steve spoke, “you could have saved us. You could have done more.”

Steve wrenched himself away, pulling his arm off Wanda to break the connection. He couldn’t watch anymore. The rest of them all pulled away from her, moving back to give themselves space, as if Wanda had dealt them all a physical blow. She nodded, almost imperceptibly as if to herself and then left the room.

Bucky closed his eyes again to replay the anguish that had been on Stark’s face. If he’d had any doubts, they were gone. That’s what devastation looked like, watching Steve breathe his last. Bucky was starting to come to an understanding that he and Stark had a lot in common. Bucky could work with that.

Bruce was the first to speak, “I’m not going to say Tony’s blameless in all this, even after what I’ve just seen, because we all know there’s enough blame to go around. But I think I understand his motivations now more than I ever had, even as I helped him create Ultron.”

Natasha looked between each of them as she spoke, “I stand by a lot of the things I said in my original report of Tony to Fury, but maybe now more than ever he is not all of the things I accused him of being. I think that the Tony Stark that most people see, that I first saw, isn’t anything like the real Tony Stark. We just haven’t noticed Tony was trying to show us that all along. He welcomed us into his home, upgraded our suits, and worked to clean up our battles. I mean,” she looked to Steve again, “Steve’s the team leader, no doubt. But, Tony… he’s…” she lost her words.

Steve was staring at a point on the wall when he spoke almost absently, “he’s the head of the family. Because we weren’t just a team… we were like a family.”

Clint shrugged, “well, I mean, a super fucked-up one, but yeah.”

“He didn’t see his death,” Steve touched his neck where Tony’s hand had rested on his other self in the vision.

Steve looked up at the other Avengers, “I mean, his biggest fear isn’t dying. It’s us dying and him being powerless to stop it.”

He glanced sideways at Bucky, “and I know what that feels like. I can’t exactly fault him for anything born out of that feeling.”

Bucky had situated himself beside Steve on the couch, his hand resting on Steve’s knee in a show of support.

Sam cleared his throat and stepped forward, “so, we’re gonna forgive him? I’m on board with that. We all did things we can’t take back.”

Steve made eye contact with each team member in the room and then T’Challa who he addressed, “do you have a way to get a message out?”

The King of Wakanda nodded, “to who?”

Steve looked into Bucky’s calm, determined eyes as he spoke, “the world.”

 

There were massive protests happening all over the globe. CNN was having a field day and honestly, Tony was feeling a little smug about it. He’s got all the screens in the compound playing the footage of peaceful, so far, protests happening live – London, New York, Beijing, Toronto, Buenos Aries, Cairo. It had been a hard-won battle to get this far; to get people to see their side.

Tony could admit to himself just a little that it’s also vindicating to feel like maybe, _maybe_ people can still see all the good they do even when there are negative consequences. Tony’s got too much red in his ledger for it to matter… but, the Avengers Initiative was the one thing he had done that had felt like he was finally putting some green back on the books.

He’s nursing his second and last glass of scotch (what?! He can moderate when motivated) when something on the TV caught his attention. The picture flickered and the emergency broadcast signal wailed for a minute before another flicker and then Steve was on his TV.

Before Tony even had a second to process what he’s seeing, Steve was speaking, “I don’t have long I’m sure before they shut this feed down. So, I’ll get to the point. _Thank you._ Thank you for your protests. Continue to keep them peaceful, please.”

Steve looked full Captain America, with the suit and the cowl, but something was off, “Thank you for your show of support. In cities across the world you have demonstrated today that most of you feel the Avengers deserve another chance. I sincerely hope that the committee agrees with you.”

He had a beard, Tony realized, and the cowl didn’t completely cover it up, “I’d like to publicly thank Tony Stark for everything he’s done for the Avengers.”

Tony felt the room shift around him, he was sure he heard that wrong, but Steve kept going, “He gave us a home. He kept us safe. He has worked to fix our messes. He has gone to bat for us. He has done all of that because he is a good man, despite what he himself might tell you.”

There was a small, sad smile on Steve’s lips as he said it and Tony wanted to cry, and laugh, and hide, and yell, but Steve was not done, “I speak for all of the Avengers when I say he is also a good teammate and a good friend. But teams and friends don’t always get along… not even heroes. It takes strength of character to admit when you are wrong. When Tony discovered his company’s weapons were falling into the hands of terrorists, he shut it down. He didn’t think of profit or stocks, he did what was right by admitting he was wrong, and he has stood in front of you these past few months, humbled once again. I think all of us could benefit from that example, myself included.”

 _His self included_ , Tony narrowed his eyes at the screen, “I was wrong to write off the Accords issue, to remove myself from the fight in seclusion instead of making it absolutely clear what I was fighting for. My fellow Avengers who did that, however, paid the price of freedom. A price I find unacceptable. I was wrong to put what I can admit was a personal crusade to save those closest to me above diplomacy. Tony did what I could not. He has conveyed all of my reasons, now our reasons, for not agreeing to the Accords. I have lived two lifetimes, and in both I have seen the great good and the harm that institutions can cause. I cannot place my faith in organizations. I told Tony Stark once that I believed in the goodness of individuals, and I do.”

Steve’s image flickered before he continued, “in some instances, like Sokovia, the Avengers have been responsible for the suffering of the innocent, even as we have tried to defend that very innocence. For that, I am truly sorry. But we certainly cannot defend this planet from underneath a 500-page regulation book. No amount of legalese will keep this world safe. Just know that the Avengers will always be willing to fight to defend you, whether you call us fugitives or heroes…”

The image cut out. Steve was gone. The protest coverage was back. The signal had been lost.

 

Tony knew he shouldn’t be snooping in other people’s things. But, he did technically own the entire building, so he technically owned all the things in it, right? That’s what he told himself anyway. He hadn’t really been searching for anything. He had just gotten bored.

Deep down, somewhere in the honest parts of himself he doesn’t look at too closely, he could admit the snooping had been a way to just feel closer to his team again. Especially after Steve’s impassioned speech. He couldn’t process that right now, so he’d wandered the floors of the tower. After he lapped his own floor a few times he started to feel like a goldfish in a bowl so he’d moved down through the levels he’d designated to members of the team.

He used to bump in to them at all hours, searching for food in the rare moments he emerged from the lab, unable to live off of smoothies alone. He had made the tower, and then the compound, somewhere they could call home as well. He actually missed sharing space with all of them. Who was he anymore? A maudlin old fool.

Now it was just him, as he wandered from room to room, sitting on their beds, staring at their walls, flipping through their books. But when he got to Steve’s room his eyes were immediately drawn to the stack of sketchbooks stacked on the neat desk in the corner. Without conscious thought Tony took one off the top of the stack and flipped it open.

It was Bucky. It was all Bucky. Page after page of Sargent Barnes stared back at Tony. Bucky with his back against the tire of a supply truck, a cigarette in one hand and the other frozen in the motion of running through his hair. Bucky staring down the barrel of a sniper rifle, his lips ticked up in a concentrated smirk. Bucky curled up on a bedroll, his face lax in sleep. As Tony flipped through the book he realized that they were not all wartime sketches. There was Bucky in civilian cloths leaning against what looks like a boardwalk railing. There was Bucky sitting on one end of a couch reading a newspaper.

It devolved after that into just different parts. There were eyes, scared and sad, looking up at something no one else could see. There were hands, smoothing over the shoulder of a threadbare jacket. There was a mouth, quirked up in a cocky smile.

Steve had been trying to capture the parts of James Buchanan Barnes that made him Bucky; the parts that made him Steve’s Bucky. And while it might not have been apparent to anyone in 1943, it was achingly and somehow shockingly apparent to Tony as a 21st century man that Bucky Barnes was Steve Roger’s and vice versa.

Tony felt foolish all over again. He experienced somehow more keenly the regret that he would have felt if things had gone differently in Russia. Tony had absolutely been trying to kill the Winter Solider, the man in that video choking the life out of his mother. If he had succeeded then he would have also killed Bucky Barnes. And it was apparent now as he flipped through the sketchbook, more than it had been apparent as Steve brought his shield down into Tony’s chest plate, that James Buchanan Barnes would not be allowed to die again. Not on Steve’s watch.

There was no question that this was the Bucky that Steve had been fighting to protect in that HYDRA base, and Tony knew both from the videos and these sketches that James Barnes was a man worth fighting for. Tony had just been on the wrong end of the fight… justifiably… but all so pointlessly now. The Winter Solider was gone, disposed of in a way more elegant and humane than Tony could have managed in his hurt and rage. There would never be any justice for Howard and Maria Stark. But, then, there would never really be justice for Bucky Barnes would there?

Tony set the sketchbook aside and marveled all over again at his ridiculous and discarded notion that the friendship he and Steve had shared between them had somehow stood a chance against the relationship, that’s clear now, that Steve and Bucky had. Have? And then, because Tony truly had no self-preservation, he flipped open a second sketchbook.

His heartbeat seemed to stop in his chest before tripping back over itself in a double-time rhythm. The first image was Tony, ratty jeans and tank top, bent over his work surface as he hand-welded something. Steve had handwritten a small note in the corner of the sketch _he should be wearing safety gear_. Tony actually chuckled out loud. It was so Steve to write into his sketch what about the scene bothered him.

Tony flipped more pages. There were scarred and calloused hands typing on a keyboard, tweaking Dummy’s wiring, and manipulating holograms. There were pages of the Iron Man suit. There was one of Tony leaning against the kitchen counter in the Tower, a mug of coffee in his hand, his head tilted back and eyes closed.

Steve had drawn him in moments Tony hadn’t even realized anyone had been watching. He couldn’t remember anyone seeing him like this except Pepper. He had been more himself around her than anyone else, ever. Except, maybe, it seems, Steve. And, maybe, the team? How close had he let them? How close had he gotten to each of their true selves?

Tony glanced back over towards the sketchbook where he had found Bucky’s sketches. Maybe each teammate had a book? Maybe this wasn’t just a Steve and Bucky thing? Which meant it certainly wasn’t a Steve and Tony thing, right? Because they didn’t have a thing… right?

Tony grabbed book after book, thumbing through rapidly. There were sketches of the Brooklyn Bridge, Lady Liberty, Battery Park, the Manhattan skyline, Central Park, and other places Tony didn’t recognize – most likely from missions around the world. There were animals.

There were people, strangers. And, yes, there were sketches of their other team members. There was Natasha cleaning a gun, Bruce mid-meditation, Clint hanging from the edge of a building, Thor calling lightening down with the hammer. But, they were few and far between. No one had their own book full of sketches.

No one but Bucky and Tony.

Tony sat at the desk, staring at the books until he remembered to go to bed.

 

The protesters had packed-up their signs and called it a win. The committee had disbanded shame-faced. The Avengers were free to come home. Tony wasn’t sure he was that home anymore, if he would ever be trusted in that way again.

Clint had the farm to go home to. Natasha probably had at least 10 safe houses at any one time. Thor was still in parts unknown. T’Challa said Bruce had come back from space, and how did he end up in space anyway? Vision was hoping Wanda would return, but he could just as easily go to her and Tony had told him that. Sam could return to life in DC. The Avengers didn’t have to be together in one place… that was sorta the whole point of assembling.

Steve had Bucky, and a lot of time to make-up for. Star Spangled Purity was batting for the other team… Tony still couldn’t believe it sometimes. I mean, Natasha had said when she kissed him she could tell he had done it before. But, you know, Tony thought, wasn’t everyone in the 40’s a stick in the mud? It had been more fun to think of Steve as Mr. Virtue. Definitely straight.

The point is, if Tony had been a betting man, which he kinda was, he would have lost a lot of money. He and Steve had certainly moved past their initial assumptions about one another, but maybe Tony had been holding on to a few for his own protection. Maybe Steve had meant more to Tony than Tony had realized. Bucky had certainly meant more to Steve than Tony had realized.

Despite all that, Tony did his best to remodel the tower back into a home. Everyone had a floor again. Tony added floors and spaces for added teammates. The common spaces were redesigned. FRIDAY helped him set-up state-of-the-art security. The compound in up-state had felt too much like… well, a compound. The tower had been where things were good.

Still, he didn’t expect them to come back. It was enough to know that they were all free to do as they chose and to go where they pleased. Tony had a company to run to occupy his time. He couldn’t be micromanaging the Avengers. If they needed to assemble, they would. He put the phone Cap had given him on a table in the lab at the tower. Not hidden away in a desk anymore, but also not in his pocket at all times like during the hearings. It was an emotional balance Tony had found himself on the razors edge of… aware, but content… acknowledging, but not obsessing.

Tony did call T’Challa to thank him for his assistance with the hearings and the Accords, “your opinion as someone like me, who was for the Accords initially, was invaluable.”

Tony pointedly didn’t ask if any of the Avengers were still in Wakanda so he just said, “I know you helped in sheltering them as well, so thank you for that too.”

Tony got the feeling T’Challa knew exactly what he was doing, so he powered on, “anytime you want to fight with the Avengers, I’d consider you a part of the team. To be honest, I’m hoping we’re not needed for a while. They could all use a break.”

Tony could hear the smirk over the phone, “and what about you, Man of Iron, you do not need a break?”

Tony shrugged even though it couldn’t be seen, and kept his voice light, “not sure I deserve one quite yet. Still some work to be done. I have to make sure this doesn’t happen again. The Avengers won’t be operating under S.H.I.E.L.D. or even Stark, Inc. ever again. We’re all gonna be free agents when I’m done. Oh, before I forget, you even have a floor in the tower now. I remodeled.”

T’Challa made a non-committal noise and Tony thought he was hearing things when a huffing noise sounded from the other end of the line with it.

He could hear the smile in T’Challa’s voice when he spoke, “thank you for including me, Mr. Stark. I will be sure to visit sometime. I will bring my sister Shuri. She is most anxious to help you improve upon your… what did she call it? Your outdated notions on what qualifies as technological advancement.”

Tony was still silent in outraged offense when the Wakandan King hung up with a small laugh. You suddenly announce you’re the most technologically advanced country on the planet, Tony thought, and you start some out-reach centers and you think you can best Tony Stark. Well, Tony would see about that.

 

It was almost as if they had never left. Tony emerged from the lab two week after the committee decision and all the Avengers, minus Thor, were in the living room. Tony came to a dead halt before continuing to the coffee pot. He poured a cup and then stood gripping it looking out at what resembled a panel of judges.

Steve was standing closest to where Tony was in the kitchen, Barnes on his left. Clint was perched on the arm of a chair. Bruce was sitting in the chair. Wanda was standing by the windows with Vision. Sam and Nat were standing in front of the couch, but refusing to sit on it.

Tony waved a hand as if to encompass everything, “your rooms are all as they were originally, all the stuff that was in your quarters at the compound has been moved into here… yada, yada.”

Steve had that contrite look on his face that usually made Tony irritated, but all he could muster right now was sadness. Tony was right about the beard. It’s an odd look, but also somehow it suited. The beard did for Steve what the long hair did for Barnes, adding edginess otherwise impossible to achieve with looks that good. Tony drank his coffee hoping the scalding liquid would burn his traitorous thoughts away.

The silence was stretching and Tony’d never been bad per say at filling silence, “look, we could do a big thing where I say I’m sorry. Then you guys say something about how you accept that I’m sorry. But, none of us are particularly great with talking about stuff, right? So, let’s skip all that.”

Steve stepped forward and Tony had to grit his teeth to not take a step back, even with the kitchen island between them, “I’m sorry, Tony. For a lot. For things I’ve already apologized for. For things I’ll keep apologizing for. But, if there’s one thing we all agreed on when we decided to come back to the Tower,” he glanced behind him briefly, “it’s that none of us are blameless here. We all have things to atone for.”

Tony walked around the kitchen island to stand in front of Steve, he glanced briefly at Barnes before speaking in a softer voice, “I prepared a suite of rooms for Barnes. I thought he’d appreciate his own space with… everything. I thought he’d want a place to, uh, feel safe? Secluded? Like, the lab, you know? That’s my space… I thought he’d like some space that’s just his.”

Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that it looked like Steve was a few seconds from a breakdown, “Thank you, Tony.”

Tony looked down at his cup of coffee, unable to meet Steve’s gaze as he continued, “I also upgraded your living quarters. Gave you more room and tried to make it so two people could live in the space. I thought, you might want options.”

“Tony… what? How? I mean, yes, but…”

Tony tapped his temple, “genius, remember? I figured it out.”

“At least, I think I did,” he looked over to Bucky and held eye contact for the first time, nodding his head when Bucky laced his fingers through Steve’s like he had taken to doing.

Steve looked down at Bucky’s hand in his own, still reeling that they could do this in front of others, and then back up at Tony who looked like he was aiming for a smile and landed on a grimace, “it helped, you know? I spent a long while trying to see him how he must have been, how I remembered Howard talking about him… anyway, it helped… and then, well, once I saw it, once I figured it out, it helped knowing, that, well, it wasn’t really a choice, right? Him or me? It had always been him. I suppose if Pepper had gone all fiery vengeance after Extremis and you’d tried to put her down, I wouldn’t have taken too kindly to that… so, yeah…”

Before Steve could even get a word in Tony moved around him towards the others and clapped his hands, his voice back to normal, “okay, who wants to learn all about the new security measures that I have made sure not even S.H.I.E.L.D. can hack? No one, but no one is getting in this tower unless we want them to.”

And with that Tony was giving the grand tour of the tower part two with the other Avengers warily following behind. Steve stayed behind in the living room, still holding Bucky’s hand, feeling like they had taken two steps forward and one step back.

 

It was not like it had been, but it was getting better. Thor came back, no news of infinity stones, but with Loki in tow – allegedly reformed. He and Bruce were oddly close now, and they all learned that the Hulk could talk, and spar, and a lot of other things when Bruce let him out. Tony still liked to poke Bruce at odd moments just for the hell of it. He stopped the day that the Hulk poked back. It was the end of a team sparing session and the Hulk walked over and just poked Tony in the side and chuckled. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin. Okay, so Hulk also had a sense of humor. Jesus H. Christ!

Tony was keeping the drinking to a minimum and trying to sleep more and showing up to most of the meetings Pepper told him to and all the team things Steve asked him to. He still listened to AC/DC at 3am at unholy volumes in the lab, but the rest of the team seemed to find the habit soothing rather than annoying. Clint decided to leave for a while, go to his family, understandably, and Tony told him that they were also welcome in the tower and that any and all accommodations could be made if Clint wanted to bring them along when he returned.

Tony was on his fifth cup of coffee when he made the offer, so he sounded manic but sincere, “I did everything I could think of to make sure no one knew about them… during the whole committee shit show. I wasn’t sure if you and the missus had like a plan, and I know you keep them off the grid, but, yeah, anyway. The farm should still be safe, but you’re welcome to bring them here.”

Clint actually placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder and squeezed and said, “thank you,” in a tone that no one could quite place.

Tony seemed surprised, or maybe it was the caffeine making him jumpy, he looked up at Clint with a small side smile, “you’re welcome?”

It came out as more of a question, but no one said anything and Tony made his way back to his lab for a conference call with the board. When he emerged later that evening he’d been surprised to find Natasha and Sam making dinner. They handed him a large plate of food without a word and Tony looked at it like he wasn’t sure what to do with it.

Sam offered helpfully, “it’s food Stark, you eat it.”

Tony rolled his eyes, making his way to the table to sit, “hardy fucking har, Wilson.”

Natasha offered him a glass of wine and Tony was certain something was off, so he covered his unease with humor, “is it poisoned?”

Natasha smiled as she sat down with her own plate, “you won’t know until you’re dead.”

Tony made a well that makes sense face and swallowed some of the red wine… good vintage, excellent year.

After that things started… happening. Tony would roll around the lab and roll the chair back to his desk to find a steaming cup of coffee waiting for him. Food was delivered the days when he forgot lunch. He noticed that things he’d left lying around the tower, like his Stark pad, appeared in his room, on his bedside table, charged. He fell asleep on the couch one night and woke up with a blanket over him.

Tony went to service Dummy one afternoon and found all his various parts well-oiled and cleaned. Dummy gave a happy little beepboop as Tony patted him bewildered. Maybe it’s elves? Dark elves? Had elves moved into the tower? Magic? But what sort of magic would just… do things for Tony? It made no sense.

All the pieces slotted into place when Tony happened to turn from his work on a gauntlet one morning and saw a steaming cup of coffee floating gently in the air in a haze of red light. The cup slowly lowered to the table where he had found cups before. Hot. Made the way he liked it. Tony slowly turned to catch Wanda moving out of the doorframe where she had just been.

So, not magic then? Well, maybe sorta magic. Had it been Wanda this entire time? Tony was stunned. A few days later, just to test his new hypothesis, Tony skipped lunch. He was honestly not even trying to, but he’s more aware than normal that he hadn’t eaten. Maybe the food would show up again, floating through the air because for some reason Wanda didn’t want him to know it’s her.

Tony tried to act supremely involved in what he was doing while also trying not to appear as if he was watching the door. It took all of his self control not to startle when Natasha of all people walked silently into his lab, placed a plate with a sandwich on it quietly onto the table, and retreated as silently as she had entered.

Huh? Tony wondered if Steve had put them up to this. It wasn’t like the team had never tried to get him to take better care of himself before, well, before everything. But, this wasn’t asking him when the last time he slept was. This wasn’t inviting him to meals. This was caring above and beyond that.

Because Tony could never leave anything alone once his mind had gripped onto it, he waited a few days and then went to lie down on the couch in the main room, making sure to even his breathing and trying to appear asleep without actually falling asleep. Would it be Wanda or Natasha? Hell, maybe even Sam or Bruce this time?

Tony waited. And waited. He was drifting on the edge of actual sleep when he felt the weight of a blanket settle over him. Still feigning sleep Tony shifted, sighed and reached out as if he was dreaming. Once again his startled realization almost gave him away, but he kept the ruse of the dream and settled back as if falling deeper into sleep.

Tony lay on the couch for longer than he meant to, his mind racing at what he had discovered. As he had reached out, his hand had brushed what he expected to be the dainty hand of Wanda smoothing the blanket over him. Instead Tony’s hand had brushed cool metal. There was only one person living in the Avenger's tower with a metal hand. But why was Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes covering Tony with a blanket?

 

Bucky hadn’t really considered practical uses for the knowledge and special skill set he gained as the Winter Soldier, but if he had he wouldn’t have considered one of those practical uses to be stealth swaddling Tony Stark in his sleep. But, hey, life gives you lemons and all that. He just can’t not do something when he finds Tony passed out in random spots around the tower and there are blankets, but they aren’t on Tony. So, Bucky… helps. Like all the other Avengers have been helping. He’s pretty sure they’re just freaking Tony out.

How can a man forgive without accepting forgiveness? Tony seemed especially skilled at it. He had apologized, sure, but then he’d seemed deaf to the apologies doled out to him. Tony’d made these grand gestures, but he seemed confused by even the smallest gestures made towards him in return.

Tony had not only let the man who’d killed his parents into his home, he’d created an entire space for Bucky that was his. It had no windows, multiple exits, and almost zero blind spots. The lights could be lowered to multiple settings so it wasn’t too bright and the color scheme was muted. Bucky didn’t have to be a genius to figure out it was designed by someone who knew intimately about things like PTSD and anxiety. It made him ache for Tony in a way he hadn’t felt connected to another human being in a very long time. All of that wouldn’t have been so weird if he could get Tony to say more than two words to him, if he could get Tony to make more than brief eye contact, or if he could get him in a room long enough to start a conversation.

The situation was made even worse because Bucky got the feeling that Tony was doing it just as much to make Bucky confortable as he was for himself; like he couldn’t image why Bucky would want to share space with him. That level of capitulation was thoughtful even if Bucky currently found it annoying because he wanted to get to know Tony. Bucky hadn’t expected to feel so acutely everything Steve had told him was special about Tony. But, fuck, Bucky was starting to carry a torch for the guy and wasn’t that just some shit.

 

Steve couldn’t help but notice the obvious and subtle ways that sex between he and Bucky was different now. Not, bad different. Honestly, good different.

Sex between them had been a lot of things. Clumsy, the first few times, as they both adjusted to the idea that they were men. It had been rushed more often than not and quiet so they wouldn’t be discovered. Bucky had been insistent from the beginning that Steve take him, because Steve had been so much smaller than him and Bucky had been terrified of hurting him. It had been the topic of a few fights and would have been the topic of more if Steve hadn’t liked being on the top so much and Bucky hadn’t liked it like that too.

Then, the serum had happened and Steve had gotten Bucky out of Zola’s lab and Bucky had been the frail one – too thin, too pale, too hurt. They had other things to worry about and Steve had been irrationally fearful that Bucky wouldn’t like his new body anyway. And so they had existed in this sort of sphere of awareness as the Howling Commandos formed, both of them glad the other was safe and alive, both not sure how to bridge the gap the war had created, not in their friendship, but in more intimate spaces.

It had all come to a foregone conclusion one evening, the camp mostly quiet around them, their tent pitch black. Neither one of them were asleep. Bucky had slipped out of his bedroll and had simply crawled on top of Steve in his. The blanket tossed to the side and the position tenuous but doable with the small amount of space given.

It had been a furious, but quiet meeting of mouths and teeth and tongue. Fingers had grabbed and hands pushed and pulled. Steve discovered the serum made him more sensitive in a lot of ways and gave him more stamina. Bucky had taken him for the first time, being as slow and as soft and as careful as he could be given the situation. Steve had laid on his stomach, his fingers dug into the bedroll and the ground beneath while Bucky rocked into him from behind, his hand clasped over Steve’s mouth while he muffled his moans by biting into the flesh of Steve’s shoulder.

Now, in the weeks since they had found this easy affection between them again, both Steve and Bucky had tried to discover what worked for them in a world where they didn’t have to rush and didn’t have to stay quiet. Better yet, they were both enhanced now. Neither one of them had to be careful. It had lead to some rather acrobatic sex.

They discovered they liked switching it up. Whatever type of serum Bucky had gotten, it had made him sensitive too, as well as increasing his stamina. Mostly they liked slow and loud, and they liked face to face. It was an affirmation, Steve thought as he looked down into Bucky’s hazy, lust-blown blue eyes. Every thrust, every drag of skin on skin, every soft press of lips, they could look into each other’s eyes and think ‘you’re here, you’re here, you’re here, with me.’

Steve shivered at the groan that left Bucky when Steve angled his hips differently and hit Bucky’s prostate. They picked up the pace after that, each of them chasing orgasm. Bucky threw his head back, his breath hissing out as Steve used the motion to bite down on the tendons in Bucky’s neck and then lick up a bead of sweat that had come to rest in the dip where Bucky’s collarbones met.

Steve reached a hand down between them and took Bucky’s cock in hand, stroking in time to his thrusts now. Bucky flew apart with a loud groan underneath him, tightening down on Steve and sending him over the edge just a few thrusts later. Steve collapsed onto the mattress beside Bucky who immediately curled himself up around Steve.

Bucky huffed out a breath, “I think we get better at this with age.”

Steve grinned, “well, I think that good sex is generally something people approaching 100 should have mastered.”

Bucky grinned back, “That didn’t feel like two 100 year olds having sex.”

Steve barked out a laugh, “we’re young for our age, Buck.”

Bucky hummed and fell silent for a bit. Steve enjoyed the stillness, just basking in the after glow and feeling Bucky’s steady heart beat thump against where it was pressed to Steven’s upper arm.

“Have you thought more about what I said?”

It took Steve a second to focus on Bucky’s question, “what you said when?”

Bucky hauled himself up until he could prop his head on his hand and look down into Steve’s face, “about what I said about Tony.”

Steve made a face, “why are you pushing this Buck? Tony and I weren’t anything but friends and we’ll be lucky to get back to that the way things are going. And you and I are finally you and I again for the first time in almost a century. Do you want Tony? Are you attracted to him? Are you doing this for me? Are you doing it for Tony?”

Steve sighed, “help me understand, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t answer any of Steve’s questions, he just replied with one of his own, “Have you ever considered that maybe it was so hard for you and Tony to be friends because subconsciously you both wanted more?”

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face, “No, I haven’t considered that.”

Bucky got up from the bed suddenly, walking naked as a jaybird over to Steve’s desk to rummage through the stacks of sketchbooks. Bucky came back to the bed and handed one over to Steve as he crawled back between the sheets, “I went snooping this morning while your were still taking your sweet time in the shower.”

Steve smiled as he opened the book, “it’s not snooping if I don’t mind.”

The book was full of Bucky. The last few pages comprised of the bits and pieces Steve had retained of his encounters with the Winter Solider as well. This book had filled-up pretty quickly because Steve had been carrying it the year he spent looking for the solider and trying to remember his Bucky.

When Steve set the book aside and turned to Buck, still confused as to where this was going, Bucky just quietly handed him the second book. Steve opened it to a drawing of what he knew to be Tony’s hands tweaking Dummy’s wiring. _Okay_ , Steve thought. As he flipped through page after page he felt the realization of what Bucky was trying to impress upon him. Every single page was Tony. Tony drinking coffee, Tony working in his lab, Iron Man mid-flight, it was a sketchbook just for Tony.

Steve looked over at Bucky then, expecting reproach and finding a steady gaze, “he’s the only one that has a whole book other than me. He’s the only one you draw as much as me. I’ve been trying to tell you, and like usual you just don’t want to hear what I’m saying.”

Steve set the book aside and stared at the ceiling, “since I got out of the ice I haven’t had much time to do a lot of soul searching. And despite Natasha’s attempts, I haven’t really had romance on my mind. And Tony was with Pepper besides. And I just never really considered that I might be gay…”

Bucky snorted, “what is this between us, Punk?”

Steve rolled so that he and Bucky were facing each other, propped up on their elbows, “no, I mean, I know that… what I’m trying to say is until Peggy I wasn’t sure I was that into dames, you know? They were pretty and they made me nervous and they weren’t keen on my height, but that was it. I guess, now I would be considered bisexual, that’s what Tony is… and possibly Clint?”

Steve continued, “the point is, maybe Peggy was the exception to my rule when it came to women… but I always just assumed you were my exception to the rule when it came to men, you know? I’ve never looked at another fella like I look at you, Buck.”

Bucky nodded, “makes sense. I guess. I’ve only ever had eyes for you really, aside from the occasional dame… so, maybe I’m bisexual too. But, I’ve never wanted another man the way I want you.”

Steve swallowed, “until Tony?”

Bucky reached up to brush his knuckles along Steve’s cheek, “until I saw Tony how you see him. Past all the shit between us and the bluster he uses to shield himself.”

Steve whispered, “say I admit you’re right about all of this, what are we gonna do about it?”

Bucky smiled, “remember when we used to fight about getting married?”

“Of course I remember. I used to get so worked-up about it. All those double dates you set us up on felt like you were trying to marry me off to some girl and I’d always tell you I was never gonna love someone else the way I loved you and marrying someone when I couldn’t love her felt wrong.”

Bucky smiled again at the memory, “and I told you to get the fuck over it most of the time and I dragged your ass out anyway. But, one night, I told you that the heart was an infinite place…”

Steve closed his eyes and took over, “and that each of us had the ability to love many people, many times over. You told me that falling in love with a dame and marrying her didn’t mean I stopped loving you any less.”

Bucky looked unbelievably smug that one of his life lessons seemed to have imprinted somehow on Steve, “that’s right. And now it’s 2018 and we could go kiss on a street corner and people would just walk by like it was nothing, Stevie. What’s the point of living in the future if we’re not taking advantage of it? You can be with me and be with Tony. And I can be with you and Tony. And Tony can be with you and with me, if he wants.”

Steve looked doubtful so Bucky circled back around to Steve’s earlier questions, “look, you say drop this and I’ll drop it. I don’t want anything to come between what we’ve finally found again. But, it’d be wrong to let you think that I’m pulling some self-sacrificing bullshit on this one. I’m not that nice, or that brave…”

Steve opened his mouth to protest but Bucky just put his hand over Steve’s mouth, “and it’s not just about how good looking Tony is. Looking at him makes me feel the way I do when I’m looking at you, and we’ve both just established that’s rare. He’s funny. He’s sarcastic as fuck. He’s compassionate. He’s goddamned smart. He let me into this tower less than a year after finding out I murdered his parents…”

Steve removed Bucky’s hand, “we’ve all established that wasn’t you.”

Bucky sighed, “yeah, I know. But I look an awful lot like the man in that video strangling the life out of Tony’s Mother. And yet, he made me a fucking safe space in his own house. I can’t… I don’t even know what to do with that.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it out, “yeah, I know.”

“I just, I’m not always great with words, but I saw how Tony talked about you and then I saw how you talked about Tony and I just, well, I couldn’t unsee it. But then we came back here and now I see the way I look at Tony and I can’t unsee him the way you do… the way he’s meant to be seen.”

Steve scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair before speaking, “Even if we can get Tony on board, it’s not gonna be easy Buck.”

Bucky gave a familiar, relaxed shrug, “defending your aggressive, skinny ass in every back alley in Brooklyn wasn’t easy either, but it was worth it.”

Steve tried to give a mock-offended noise, but it was hard with Bucky pressing him down into the mattress and sealing their mouths together.

 

Tony had decided after a long debate with himself to ask Steve about all the things being done for him around the tower. After all, one of the big takeaways from the entire Accords mess was that communication was important. So, Tony waited until he found Steve alone, in the gym, of course, and asked him point blank if he had asked the others to do things for Tony.

Steve’s brow wrinkled in confusion, “things like what?”

Tony waved his hand back and forth, “oh, you know? Bringing me sandwiches in my lab. Delivering coffee. Picking up after me. Covering me with fucking blankets.”

Steve smiled then, one of his genuine ones, “no, Tony. I didn’t tell the team to cover you with blankets.”

“Than what’s the deal?”

Steve looked confused, “what’s the deal with what?”

Tony made a face, “don’t be obtuse Steve, why are they doing it if you didn’t tell them too?”

“I…,” Steve stopped and made a sort of huffing noise. He looked away and then looked back at Tony with sad eyes, “they’re doing it because they’re sorry. They’re doing it because they’re grateful.”

Tony shook his head, “look, I don’t know what you’re going on about but between me and them, I’m the one that should be sorry. I’m the one that landed them in prison. Wanda shouldn’t be giving me coffee when I can still remember what she looked like in that fucking straight jacket they put her in!”

Tony’s voice had risen towards the end, his chest fluttering uncomfortably as he spoke to Steve, “I’m the one that…”

“… that gave us a home,” Steve interrupted, “the one who tweaked our armor and weapons and tech. The one who somehow got us all hanging out like friends instead of just co-workers. The one who gave us all rooms here tailored to our needs and our likes. And not a single one of us ever uttered the words thank you.”

Tony’s mouth snapped shut.

Steve shrugged, “Look, you apologized to us by bringing us home. Let them apologize to you by… covering you with blankets.”

Tony stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at a point over Steve’s shoulder, “and how do you plan to apologize to me? Aside from that letter.”

There it was, they both thought, the elephant in the room. Steve ran a hand through his hair, looked at Tony who still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “That letter was just something else to make me feel better. I haven’t really figured out a good way to apologize. An apology means you’re asking for forgiveness and I’m not sure I’m even ready to accept your forgiveness yet… even if you’re ready to give it. It’s gonna take more than bringing you coffee.”

Tony looked into his eyes finally and nodded, “look, we take out the fact that I would have later regretted killing Barnes, who despite being your friend… boyfriend… was innocent…”

Steve opened his mouth but Tony continued, “and we take out the fact that I was wrong about the Accords. And you were wrong about how to deal with the Accords. Well, then all you have left is that I thought my parents died in a car crash and you knew they were murdered by a HYRDA assassin and you didn’t say anything.”

Steve nodded, “yeah, that’s where we’re at.”

“Well, I forgive you.”

Steve shook his head, “it’s not that simple.”

Tony nodded, “it is that simple. I forgive you. Let’s move on.”

“I don’t think I can… yet.”

The grin slipped off Tony’s face to be replaced by something more serious, “you still think about bringing that shield down onto my chest?”

Steve flinched and Tony nodded, “yeah, me too. I dream about it. And I dream about punching you in the face with my gauntlets again and again. Neither one of us get to come away from this undamaged. But we get to decided how to move forward from it.”

Steve was silent, staring into space at something that Tony couldn’t see and an idea came to Tony, so he said, “tell me something else you’ve been keeping from me.”

Steve’s head jerked up, “what?”

Tony made a carry on motion with his hand, “you want my forgiveness. You think you have to earn it. Tell me something else you know that you’ve kept from me. Nothing as serious as my parents I hope, but a peace offering, if you will. Better than bringing me coffee, right?”

Steve seemed to mull it over for a minute before saying, “let me think about it?”

Tony smiled, “yeah, Cap. I can do that.”

 

Tony flinched when he saw Bucky standing quietly out of the corner of his eye. The black and white images of the projector threw light back onto Bucky’s metal arm making it gleam. On the screen Steve and Bucky were cracking-up about something.

Barnes cocked his head to the side like he was puzzled by the image, “I can’t remember the last time I laughed. Really laughed. Like that.”

Tony let his eyes flick back and forth between the Barnes on the screen and the Barnes that stood beside him, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Steve laugh like that. These last few months of watching this, I’ve been wondering what you’re talking about. What was so funny in that moment?”

Barnes shrugged, “Can’t remember. I mean, a lot of it’s coming back. But, that moment right there? No idea.”

“I’ve been watching the old films again, haven’t drug them out of storage since I digitized them over a decade ago. Howard used to watch them all the time.”

Tony turned now in his chair to face Barnes, “anyway, realizing that I’ve never seen Steve laugh like that got me thinking about these past few years with him being out of the ice. We were so caught up in getting the Captain back that none of us stopped to think about Steve Rogers. And, you know, before this, before the Accords, I would have said without a doubt that I knew Steve. But, I don’t. None of us do. Not like you do.”

Tony made a motion towards himself, “I know what it’s like to be down in the shit. Torture. Certain death. Poisoning. Physiological scars. PTSD. Anxiety. Insomnia. I’ve dealt with it all. Or maybe, more importantly, I haven’t dealt with it. You know? And I can only imagine going through that when everything you’ve known and everyone you love has been ripped away from you. For the world, it was 70 years. But, for Steve? I mean, what was it like for you? Coming out of cryo? It was like no time had passed, right?”

Tony stood, pausing the projector and leaned his hip against one of his work tables, “and Steve. You know. He’s not a selfish guy. I would know. I’m selfish. Steve just gives and fights and gives. He sees the good and the bad and he knows the line and he holds it. But, I should have known you’d be the exception. I should have understood that there was a limit to his selflessness. Every man has a breaking point. You saw Steve and I reach ours in that fucking HYDRA facility. We just happened to be on opposite sides of the wall when it crumbled.”

Barnes turned his body to match Tony’s, a smirk tugging one end of his mouth up, “You’re selfish? Damn, Stark. Tony? Can I call you Tony? You might be dumb. But you ain’t selfish.”

Tony’s body tensed at the insult, “Excuse me?”

Barnes still looked relaxed, his Brooklyn drawl more pronounced, “Steve told me what you did. How you gave everyone a home, helped a group of loners become a team. Hell, you’ve already shown what kind of man you are by letting me through the front door of this place.”

Tony didn’t understand why everyone around here seemed so ready to give him credit for the Avengers, “That’s not… You shouldn’t have to… Steve’s the team leader…”

Barnes nodded, “Yeah, and you know what team leaders are good for? Giving orders. Making plans.”

He gestured to the screen, “Isn’t that what Captain American is? The man with the plan? But you know who makes a team a unit? The guy who gets them all telling stories and sharing cigs around a camp fire. The guy who insists on movie nights. Every good Captain needs a good second in command.”

Tony pointed towards the paused black and white image, “Looking at that screen. He had one.”

Barnes smiled and Tony’s breath caught, “I’m not talking about me.”

Tony shook his head, “Look, Barnes, you seem to have gotten the wrong idea about… everything. Steve Rogers needs someone who looks at him and sees him, not Captain America. And no one from this side of 1950 can do that.”

Barnes pushed off the table he had been leaning on and moved towards the doors of Tony’s lab, “I think you’re getting there. And call me Bucky.”

Tony threw his hands up, “That’s not my point at all. Bucky.”

Barnes stopped by the door, glancing back over his shoulder, “The two guys on that screen died a long time ago. They ain’t coming home.”

Tony wasn’t even sure why he was still arguing, “You can build a new home. Together. Just the two of you. Honestly, I figured you’d both fuck off to parts unknown the minute I had you cleared. You both have a clean slate. You don’t owe anyone anything. You’ve got 70 years to make up for. Why are you even here?”

Barnes spun on his heels, “We are building a home together. But it sure as shit ain’t gonna be just the two of us.”

Tony sat down in his rolling chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t even know what that means.”

There was silence and Tony looked up expecting Barnes to have exited, but he was still hovering by the door, his expression frustrated for the first time since his silent arrival at Tony’s viewing party of one.

Barnes stared at the frozen image of he and Steve intently before saying, “I get what you’re saying. I’m not pretending I don’t. I told Steve a long time ago that I wasn’t sure about following Captain America, but I’d follow that punk kid from Brooklyn too stupid to back down from a fight anywhere. It was Steve and I when I thought he was gonna die every winter from how sickly he was. It was Steve and I when he dragged my ass outta that fortress in Italy. It’s always gonna be Steve and I. But, the Howling Commandos became a part of that. The Avengers are a part of it now. That can’t be undone. It shouldn’t be. What you and Steve and the rest of the Avengers have built here is a home. Steve’s not gonna walk away from that. I’m not gonna ask him to.”

Tony didn’t know what to say to that and Bucky could probably see that disbelief on his face so he continued, “Steve did some things he’s not proud of to get me back. I can see that clear as day. And now that I’m back I’m gonna have his six until he tells me to stand down or something puts me down… it’s been like that since we were kids. So, yeah, Steve needs me. I need him. Again, I get what you’re saying. But, have you ever wondered why the Howling Commandos were such an effective unit? It’s because maybe the first two, three missions they followed Captain America into battle. But every one after that, they followed Steve Rogers. Just like me. Just because I’m the guy that knew Steve before the uniform doesn’t mean I’m the only one who can see through it. You’re right, that is what Steve needs. It’s what you all need. And most of the Avengers do. You all see through each other’s uniforms, you just don’t realize it most of the time. That’s why Steve came back. It’s why all of them did. It’s why you made sure they could come back.”

It was a lot to process, so Tony just said, “okay,” and went back to watching the screen. When he looked up again, Barnes was gone.

 

“Hey, don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing,” Tony had waited till almost all the Avengers had cleared the gym after practice to confront Steve, only Bucky was still there and this concerned him too anyway.

Steve looked up from where he was talking to Bucky near the punching bag, “I don’t… what?”

Tony motioned to the door all the other Avengers had just exited, “they all see it. You’re being obvious.”

Bucky had perked up like it was Christmas morning and Tony wasn’t sure why but Steve hadn’t noticed, he just said, “they see what?”

Tony motioned to the mats, “We are doing team sparring drills. As in, the entire team. Sparring. Drills. And you keep trying to make it look like you’re randomly pairing us up all the time, but it’s not random because you never pair me with you or Bar… Bucky.”

Tony held his hands up, “and if it’s something you have an issue with, that’s cool. But don’t think I can’t handle sparring with you. Either of you. We have to get past this.”

Bucky deflated like he had been holding his breath and Tony took a second to wonder again what his deal was before he concentrated on Steve again, “So?”

Steve just shrugged, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Tony barked out a laugh, “seriously? The old, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?”

Steve looked confused and Tony rolled his eyes, “it’s how people break-up with one another these days. It’s like a common saying or whatever.”

Steve looked sheepish and Bucky looked delighted.

Tony walked over to one of the mats, “fight me. Come on, Steve. The only way out is through.”

Steve looked away, “I don’t think…”

“I’ll fight you,” Bucky said as he walked over to the mat, “if you promise not to rip my arm off again.”

Tony pretended like he was thinking, trying to decide if he should say something serious or joking. “I promise to reattach it with upgrades if I do.”

Bucky scoffed, “this is Wakandan technology, you can’t even come close.”

Tony’s mouth fell open before he yelled, “take that back!”

Bucky smirked, walking onto the mat, “make me.”

Steve had his Captain-America-is-concerned face on, “I’m not sure this…”

Bucky pushed Steve off the mat so he and Tony had the space and Tony said, “move, Captain-it’s-not-you-it’s-me.”

Bucky and Tony squared up and Bucky grinned, “you got anymore of those little tricks up your sleeve? A watch that can stop bullets or whatever?”

Tony smirked, “no, just little ol’ human, non-modified me.”

Tony heard Steve give in to the inevitable with an audible sigh before saying, “don’t underestimate him Buck, even without the suit.”

“I ain’t dumb, Stevie, I’ve seen him fight.”

Steve spoke again, “Tony, your strength is going to be in your agility. Conserve your energy.”

Tony rolled his shoulders, “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Barnes laughed and mouthed, “Captain Obvious.”

Steve let out a soft, aggravated, “Fuck.”

Tony smirked, “language.”

Barnes sprang at Tony. And after the first few touches it was actually fun. It made a difference that they weren’t trying to kill each other. Mainly, Bucky maneuvered around Tony, throwing punches at Tony while Tony dodged and danced lightly out of the way. Bucky clipped Tony on the shoulder, Tony got a kick to the ribs in under Bucky’s guard. It was good, which was why Tony wasn’t ready for the takedown when it came.

One minute they were sparring and the next Tony was under Barnes with his full weight on top of Tony, one arm under Tony’s ribs and the other under his head as if he had actually cradled his fall even in the middle of the takedown. Tony had a second to process all of that, and to look into ice blue eyes burning into his own, before he was being kissed.

The issue with being kissed, especially by surprise, and especially if you were Tony Stark, was that the instinct for the first millisecond was to kiss back. Tony had always been a free love type of guy, his wonderful but doomed relationship with Pepper notwithstanding because he had never cheated on her. So, when Bucky pinned him down to the mat and then just laid one on him, Tony let it get as far as a hot and persistent tongue in his mouth before he heard the intake of breath to his right and remembered where he was and who he was kissing and who was watching and _Jesus fucking Christ_!

Tony bowed up against Barnes weight, pulling his face away and saying, “what the fuck!?”

Steve was in the same boat it seemed, looking at Bucky liked he’d lost his mind, “what the hell, Buck?!”

Sargent James Buchanan Barnes seemed to be the man with the plan today though, because he only leapt gracefully to his feet, turned a cheeky smile on Steve, and said, “you take care of this whole situation before I do it for you,” and then walked briskly from the gym.

Tony hauled himself up from the mat and just stared at the door and then at Steve and then at the door and then back to Steve, “you’re not gonna punch me for that, right? Because he definitely kissed me.”

Steve sighed like a man with at least the weight of a large building on his shoulders, “yeah, no, I’m not gonna punch you. Bucky… he… I’m sorry Tony.”

Tony shrugged, “well, as strange as this has been I think I’ll go…”

Tony made it almost to the door before Steve spoke again, “I’ve figured out what I want to tell you.”

Steve was still staring at the spot that Tony and Bucky had been and he had this determined look. It was a manic gleam in his eye that made Tony immediately defensive, but too curious to leave.

Tony took one step away from the door that Bucky had just flown out of, “and what is that?”

Steve looked up and his blue eyes were burning as well, not good, “I want to tell you the truth. About anything you want to ask me. I don’t have any more secrets from you. Like you said, nothing like your parents. And now you all know that Bucky and I… that we…”

Tony supplied the words Steve was looking for, “that you’re in love?”

Steve smiled, but it was brittle, “yes, but that’s not how we’re used to people seeing it. I was going to say deviants, even though I hate that word.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “first of all, no one says deviant anymore. And second, I’m the last person you will get that shit from. Somewhere there is a sex tape of me and some B-list actor from 1990 or something. I don’t remember his name. I was coming off a bender called the 80’s.”

Steve chuckled, “fair enough.”

Tony rolled his shoulders, his body already antsy from being still too long and keyed up from what the fuck ever had just happened with Bar… Bucky, “so, what do you want to tell me the truth about?”

“Anything,” Steve made a sort of gesture at Tony, “you ask me a question, something you want to know, and I’ll answer it honestly.”

Tony’s eyes widened a fraction in surprise, but his mind raced, “anything?”

Steve nodded, “anything.”

Tony looked to the side, but his voice was clear when he said, “I went through your sketchbooks. And yes, I know I shouldn’t have. I got bored. I got restless or whatever. I’m sorry. Sorta. Not really. The point is… there’s whole books dedicated to Bucky. I get that. But, why is there so much of me?”

Steve took a few steps closer and Tony wasn’t sure if he was closing the gap between them because of the conversation or to buy time.

Steve cleared his throat, “You said, when we were fighting, in Russia, I remember, I said ‘he’s my friend’ and you said ‘so was I.’ And it wasn’t till that moment that I really realized you were. _You are._ You all are,” he made a gesture that was supposed to be all encompassing and Tony got that he meant all the Avengers.

Steve looked over Tony’s shoulder at the door, “Bucky is the one thing in my life I’ve always been selfish about. I mean, all those POWs I liberated in Italy? That was to save Bucky. Putting that plane in the water? Part of it was because I just didn’t want to go on without him. Keeping you from taking vengeance on the Winter Solider? I couldn’t let anything happen to Bucky. Not when I’d just gotten him back. He’s the one thing in this new world that still resembles the home I knew. And seeing him again, having him be alive with me 70 years later… the odds of that…”

Steve lost his words for a second and Tony remained uncharacteristically quiet, “Now that I have him back and now that we’re back at the tower. It’s like, the best of both worlds. It’s like I can see clearly my past and my present and how they blend. I realize how much I owe the Avengers. How much you made losing him and waking up in this century hurt less. I owe Natasha for guiding me in this new world, for keeping me listening to my heart. I owe you, for drawing me out and catching me up and just giving me somewhere I could come back too that wasn’t a government facility. You gave me a place to call home when I had lost the only one I ever knew. You gave me a purpose. You gave me people to trust.”

Steve looked right at Tony now, “The Howling Commandos were like that for me. And Bucky was my second. He was the ground beneath my feet. He challenged me. He remembered the Steve from before the serum and he was always around to make sure he was still in there, you know? I think that when I latched on to the Avengers as my new Howling Commandos, as a new team, and a new family. I think that I latched on to you as a second. It’s not a great way to phrase it, but you were my new Bucky. You didn’t know me before the serum, sure, but you were the first person in this new world I’d woken up in to just absolutely call me on my shit. The things we said to each other in that helicarrier weren’t true or nice, but you were the first person since I woke up to look at Captain America and just not care, you just laid me out anyway. That’s what Bucky had always done.”

Tony knew his mouth was hanging open a little and he couldn’t really seem to control any of his body’s basic functions. He was experiencing a whooping sensation somewhere around his midsection and it felt sorta like when he pushed the suit to top speed.

Steve took another step closer and another until he was just inches from Tony. He reached out and pressed two fingers underneath Tony’s jaw to shut his mouth.

Steve tilted his head a little, now having to look down slightly to look Tony in the eyes, “you asked me why I draw you and Bucky more than anything else and I guess the truthful answer is that it’s always been Bucky for me… until it was maybe you too.”

Tony sucked in a sharp breath, “that’s… in what… how does that even… you… he… we… I…”

Steve smiled, “you wanna know if Bucky knows and, well, obviously he does. He’s been pretty adamant about how I felt for you even before we left Wakanda. He was the one who clued me in to my own feelings… I can be dense sometimes.”

Tony snorted in response but Steve continued, “and he was also, I hope, right about how you might feel in return. And he obviously likes you. I mean, Bucky doesn’t kiss just anybody like that,” Steve, the great big jerk, actually smirked.

Steve leaned in then, his hand coming around to cup the back of Tony’s neck. Tony didn’t even flinch this time when Steve’s lips pressed into his. Apparently, it was National Make-out with a Super Solider Day. He wasn’t sure how he felt about any of this, but once again Tony’s well-honed playboy instincts took over and he was kissing back, his mouth opening under Steve’s. Steve kept the kiss tame and short, pulling away after just a few seconds to say, “so, the question is, how do you feel about all of this?”

Before Tony could even summon words, much less parse his feelings, Steve had swanned out of the gym like the annoyingly, smug, handsome, _whatever_ he was. Tony needed to sit down. He needed his lab. He needed to think.

 

Tony wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the lab. He stared at the walls. He took a tire iron to an engine block. He designed two new products to send to Pepper for her feedback. Then he actually checked his emails, all 5,000 of them, to try and get his mind off the thoughts running over and over through his brain.

It might have been more than 24 hours, but less than 3 days, when he finally stumbled out and up to his bedroom for a shower and an 8 hours nap. Tony woke-up groggy and with his brain still on fire. What the actual fuck were Steve and Bucky thinking? What did they want from him? How was this his life? He was trying to regain the easy camaraderie they’d barely scratched the surface of before the Accords-Zemo disaster and now they wanted… what? Sex? A relationship?

Tony could do sex. He was a master of sex. All kinds of sex. Or, he used to be. Before Afghanistan. Then there was Pepper. Sex had been fantastic with her. There was something to be said for having sex with the same person over and over again. Who knew?

And now, well, let’s just say that 1985 Tony wouldn’t even recognize 2018 Tony. When was the last time he had sex? It had been Pepper. There had been no one since her. So, a year? 8 months? After Ultron but before the Accords? He had thought the Accords might fix the rift between them, but no. He just couldn’t not be Iron Man and she couldn’t be Iron Man’s girlfriend.

He couldn’t make it work with one person. One person who he loved and cared for and who loved and cared for him. What was he supposed to do with two people? Who loved and cared for each other, and maybe like thought friendly-sexy thoughts towards him?

God, fuck, just, uh. Somewhere 1985 Tony was losing his mind because 2018 Tony was about to turn down a hot as fuck threesome with 2 dudes because of feelings. It was called protecting yourself, Tony thought. After 50 years he had maybe managed to learn a little about knowing himself and his emotions and his boundaries. A little. More than he used to at least.

Fuck this, Tony thought. He was just gonna deal with this head-on. He got up to put on some clothes before asking FRIDAY where Steve and Bucky were.

“Captain Rogers and Sargent Barnes are in their quarters, Sir.”

“Could you ask them if I could join then in five?”

Tony brushed his teeth and fixed his hair and tried to look like he didn’t care about his current appearance even though he did, while he waited for FRIDAY’s response.

“Captain Rogers says you are welcome, Sir.”

“Thanks, FRIDAY.”

Tony considered knocking, but what was the point in inquiring ahead if not to avoid the knock and answer routine. Tony just strode into Steve’s place, surveying the changes for the first time since he had gone over them with the contractor. It seemed Steve had actually taken the initiative this time around to add personal touches and arrange the furniture to his liking. Something about the permanence that spoke of made Tony feel strangely light.

Steve and Bucky were seated on the couch, relaxed, watching TV, which they switched off when he entered. Tony could only just tell that the relaxed bit was an act. They both seemed anxious and were obviously trying to hide it. Tony would’ve preferred to stand but felt it rude so he sat in the chair off to the side and turned so he could look at both of them as he spoke.

“There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t have said no to what would no doubt be a scorching hot threesome. Not only would I not have said no, but I also wouldn’t have asked any questions or set any boundaries or remembered any names. I would’ve just woken up in the aftermath of it all, shrugged, and went on my way,” Tony made a shrugging motion as if to say, _it is what it is_ , “and there was a time when I would have cracked a joke about all of that being too much for the delicate sensibilities of Captain America.”

Tony tilted his head slightly as if considering his words, “I understand myself better now and I understand you,” he looked to Steve, “better now.”

Tony looked down and away, “while I won’t do either of you the disservice of willfully misinterpreting what you’re asking from me, I have to admit that I can’t see what you think I can offer you, beyond sex, that you can’t find with each other. So, you’re going to have to spell it out for me.”

Steve cleared his throat, “I know you enough now at least to know that you have a history of down-playing what you bring to any situation. So, don’t go thinking for one second that this is some sort of sex thing.”

Tony watched delightedly as a slight blush colored Steve’s cheeks, “Not that I’m not sure it would be,” Steve made air quotes, “scorching hot…”

Tony tried not to look smug, “I’ve never had complaints…”

Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve continued, “but we’re looking for a relationship with you. Sex, yes, but also more. So much more.”

Bucky grinned, “yeah, Steve and me got a good thing going…”

Tony jumped in, “right! And I would just mess that up!”

Bucky shook his head, “nice try, but no. You’re gonna bring your smarts and your sass and your dramatics and your style and your penchant for giving so selflessly and covering it with bluster.”

Tony made a considering noise, “nope, doesn’t sound familiar.”

Steve actually laughed, the nerve of these two. Tony hadn’t been so irritated and fond at the same time since he had to be a freakin’ surrogate Dad to Peter Parker… that kid was gonna be the death of him.

Tony sighed, “Look, I’ve never been very candid about what happened between Pepper and I except what I shared with Steve about the Accords, but it’s a damn miracle, and honestly by her grace, that we are still friends and business partners.”

Tony tried and failed not to sound exasperated, “I don’t know how else to say it. I’m not good at relationships. I forget birthdays. I forget what day it is. I will stand you up because I got buried in my work.”

“And the one thing that Pepper really asked of me, to make myself safe, to make sure I came home to her, was to give up the suits. I couldn’t. Not even for her. I don’t choose the people I love over myself. And you want to strap yourself to that?”

Steve shook his head as he held up a finger, “first of all, and no disrespect to Pepper, but do you think I would ever ask you to stop being Iron Man?”

Bucky cut in before Tony could say anything, “Tony, do you remember when you asked me why Steve and I were here instead of, how did you put it? ‘Fucking off to parts unknown to make up for lost time’.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I don’t think I phrased it…”

Bucky just continued, “it’s because I would never ask him to give up the shield for me. And I wouldn’t be much of a boyfriend if I did.” He said boyfriend like he was still adjusting to the word.

Bucky glanced at Steve and then back to Tony, “look, I know we’re just some fellas from the 40’s, so far be it from us to lecture you on these modern times. But, we Googled it…”

“Bless you…” Tony muttered, sorta proud.

“… and it seems like this is a thing now days. Polyamory. Have you ever considered that you’re uniquely, even ideally, situated for a relationship like this? I mean, I’m not gonna let you forget Steve’s birthday. He’s not gonna let you forget mine. We’re both not the best with romance, so it’s not like we’ll have high expectations. And if you get caught-up in work, or stuck in the lab, or your forget a date… well, Steve and I will have each other until you find your way back to us.”

Tony sighed, “Say that we try this. You keep saying us. But, is this like a Steve and I thing and a you and Steve thing?”

Tony saw the flash of doubt cross Bucky’s face, “if that’s what you want.”

Even as Bucky replied, Steve was shaking his head, “no, this has to be equal. I want that to be clear to both of you. I can’t be the reason the two of you are together. I can’t bear thinking that maybe one or both of you are just doing this for me.”

Tony looked like he was trying to puzzle something out before he said, “I get that, but, I mean, Bucky has you,” Tony waved a hand at Steve like that explained everything, “why would…”

Bucky held up a hand, “Let me stop you there because I can already see where this is going. If you don’t want me like you want Steve then we can deal with that…” Steve made to interrupt, but Bucky reached over and put a hand on his chest to stay him, “but don’t go thinking for a second that I’m putting up with this or along for the ride or whatever ridiculous notion you have. Steve and I have never been with another man outside of our relationship and the fact that you’re the first man in over 70 years to make both of us, _both of us_ , reconsider that says something about you. Sure, it says you’re hot. But also funny and smart and caring and just razor sharp in the wit department, which I happen to have a thing for.”

Bucky smirked when it looked like only years of practice at being shameless wwas keeping Tony from a full blush, “so, really, the question here is, are you in to me?” Bucky tried not to hold his breath.

Tony looked away, “I don’t know. I mean, yes, I think you’re gorgeous. I think that the Bucky who Steve always talked about is someone worth getting to know. I like the Sergeant Barnes, Howard told me all those stories about… the one in all those old comics – spunky, charming, determined, a fighter. But, I think it would be presumptuous of me to assume that you’re 100% any of those people. I’d like to get to know you, as you are now.”

Bucky smiled, slow and sweet, “that sounds fair.”

Steve smiled too and then casually said, “I always forget about those comics until someone asks me to sign one.”

Tony smiled fondly, “oh, yeah, I had quite a few as a kid. I mean, everyone thought I was reading them because I was a Captain America fan, but I was always a little more interested in Sergeant Barnes… you know?”

Bucky had that look again, like Christmas had come early, as he mouthed the word comics and Steve looked shell-shocked as he said, “Tony, seriously? We are gonna have to live with him after this!”

Tony grinned and winked at Bucky, “I’ll show you my favorite ones sometime.”

“Dates!” Steve yelled suddenly, probably to distract Bucky from the comics situation, “we should go on dates. Together and in pairs, to get a feel for how we all work together. And so you two can get to know one another better.”

Tony became a little more reserved again, but he nodded, “that’s fair. How about this week I make time for a date with each of you separately and we start there?”

Bucky nodded and then said, “what about the physical stuff? When are you gonna let me put my hands on you again?”

Steve groaned and dropped his head into his hands, “Bucky, oh my God, we shouldn’t push…”

Tony laughed, “no, that’s fair. Normally I’m all for pushing. But, let’s make it through one date first, okay?”

 

Tony was sitting on the floor between his couch and coffee table pushing a dumpling around on his plate when he heard Pepper let out a huff. He looked up startled and then looked away guiltily because he knew she knew he hadn’t been listening to her talk for the last few minutes.

They were both barefoot, tucked up to the table and on the floor with Thai takeout for their weekly business-partner-dinner-slash-friend-catch-up-session. He loved this time with Pepper. At first it had been enough like dating her that all it had been was painful, but now this dinner symbolized how strong their friendship was. How much they meant to each other and how much work they were willing to put in to staying in each other’s lives.

Tony stuffed the dumpling in his mouth and chewed because he wasn’t ready to answer the questions that Pepper’s eyes were asking.

Finally he said, looking up and slightly to the left, “remember when we decided not to talk to each other about our love lives as a condition of our continued friendship?”

Pepper narrowed her eyes, “yes.”

Tony pursed his lips, “but, I mean, now you’re with David…”

“Daniel,” Pepper corrected.

“…right, you’re with Daniel! He seems great. He’s the COO for Delta…”

“DuPont,” Pepper poured them more wine.

Tony smiled, “see? Daniel. With DuPont. You met him at that CEO Summit thingy. So, we sorta talk about our love lives.”

Pepper gave a very small smile of capitulation before saying, “what do you want to say Tony? Are you seeing someone?”

“I don’t know, Pep. That’s the problem.”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning of this problem?”

Tony sighed, waving his chopsticks in the air, “Steve and Bucky want to date me.”

Pepper made a little choked noise and through some impressive elegance didn’t spill a drop of the red wine she had been sipping while Tony talked.

“I’m sorry? It sounded like you said that Captain America and the Winter Solider want to date you.”

“He’s not the Winter Solider anymore,” Tony felt like it was important to point that out.

Pepper made a face and sat her wine glass down, “I’m sorry, you’re right. So, two very hot men, who happen to be war heroes, want to take you out and you’re… complaining? Confused? Not interested?”

Tony threw his hands up, “Pepper, I have to work with them! They’re Avengers!”

Pepper looked unimpressed, “you and I worked together before, during, and after we dated.”

Tony shook his head, “and we’re lucky, yeah? I mean, eventually, I’m going to mess it up and then I have to go… avenge with them… I don’t think I can Pep. And they’ve been… them… since the 40’s. That’s a lot of history to compete with.”

Pepper stared at him for a long few minutes before her features softened, “you like them.”

“Have you seen them?”

Pepper rolled her eyes, “I don’t mean you think they’re attractive, Tony. I mean you honestly like them. I’ve guessed… about Steve liking you, I mean… but Barnes is interesting. Though I’m not exactly surprised to hear that Steve and Bucky are an item.”

Tony wrinkled his nose, “how did everyone know about Steve and I but _Steve and I_?”

Pepper had the gall to laugh, “So, you like them. And they like you. Steve Rogers doesn’t have an insincere bone in his body, so don’t try to sell me some line about whether or not they like you… they do.”

Tony rested his hands on the table, his shoulders slumped, feeling defeated, “You know I’m no good at this Pep. _You know_.”

Pepper reached out across the table to grip one of Tony’s hands with her own, “what do I know, Tony? That you were a great boyfriend? That you were funny and kind and giving and loyal? That you loved me and that you told me that, sometimes out loud, but mostly in these grand gestures…”

Tony laughed, “yeah, that bunny was a bit much.”

Pepper giggled, “I’m not talking about the rabbit Tony, I’m talking about you making me CEO.”

“Of course I put you in charge of the company. You’re smart and ruthless and you know more about it than I do.”

Pepper smiled and squeezed Tony’s hand where she was still holding it, “see, that’s what I’m talking about right there. You didn’t say it, but I swear I heard _I love you_ , loud and clear.”

Tony couldn’t speak so he just looked down at their joined hands while Pepper continued, “don’t let our relationship keep you from thinking you can’t be in a relationship. You’re compassionate and sexy and smart…”

Tony shook his head, “and I forget dates and anniversaries. I forget to call or come to bed.”

“The people that know you and care about you anyway will see past that to the parts that matter. Like I did. Like the Avengers do. Steve and Bucky know you. They know what they’re signing-up for. Just like you know what sort of baggage they come with. Everyone’s got their eyes open here.”

Pepper shook his hand with her own, “hey, look at me.”

Tony did finally look up and Pepper smiled, a little sad, but still a genuine smile, “you and I couldn’t work because I couldn’t sit in front of a TV and watch Iron Man fight and think _is this the time he doesn’t come home to me_? But, I know now that you also can’t not be Iron Man. It’s who you are, and the world needs the Avengers. I never begrudged you being a hero, but watching you do it as your significant other? Knowing that I would be powerless to help you? It was the bystander part of the whole thing that was so hard for me. But, Steve and Bucky wouldn’t be. They’d be right there with you. You’d never ask them to stop fighting, they’re not gonna ask you to either. The idea that you could have not just the respect, but the love of two people like that who would stand beside you? That’s worth saying yes to.”

Tony picked up their joined hand and pressed his lips to the back of Pepper’s, “you know quantum theory allows for the existence of parallel universes? Maybe there’s a universe out there where I’m not Iron Man and you’re Mrs. Stark?”

Pepper squeezed his hand again, “maybe so, but I sorta like this universe too, where you’re a superhero and I’m just Pepper.”

“Me too Pep, me too.”

Pepper finally pulled her hand away from his, “besides, things are looking up in this universe right? The Avengers are back together. There are currently no villains to fight. And I may one day get to call you Mr. Rogers. Or maybe Mr. Barnes? Which one would you prefer? Oh, you could hyphenate!”

It was Tony’s turn to choke on wine.

 

Two dates turned into 4 dates, which turned into a date between the 3 of them that went really well. So well. Tony couldn’t believe how well. It was just like hanging out with Steve like he used to, except with kissing and the expectation that sex would happen at some point.

Now that Bucky was free of the solider and Steve had him back, Tony was starting to see more and more of the Steve and Bucky from those old movies; the easy laughter between them while they recalled a back-alley scuffle or a Howling Commandos firefight. Tony tried to make them laugh now at every opportunity.

There easy touches and intimate smiles were also wonderful to see and Tony might have thought to be jealous if they hadn’t been working to bring him into that intimacy without pushing too hard, too far. The old Tony Stark would have gladly fallen into bed with them, but the older and sometimes-wiser Tony now knew that he needed more than that, or not just that. But, he also was a fucking genius, billionaire, philanthropist, erstwhile-playboy who was currently dating two men who had literally been engineered for physical perfection. So, yeah, sex was imminent.

Tony was working to get to know Steve and Bucky separately first, just like with the separate dates he thought it was important that he establish at least the basis of an intimate relationship with them apart before trying to mash all three of them together. They had all been in agreement that the romance and the sex and the relationship had to exist between all three of them equally. That meant Tony had some catching-up to do.

To be fair, it had started with Tony wanting to get his hands on the Wakandan tech strapped to Bucky’s left shoulder. He had made many, many promises in order to coax Bucky to sit on a rolling chair and let Tony sit on a rolling chair next to him with a small amount of tools. That was two of the promises fulfilled, no exam table and no major tools. Tony wasn’t allowed to mess with the arm. He was only allowed to see it up close and touch it.

Bucky shook his head at Tony’s petulant look, “you can look at me like that all you want, but I promised Shuri I wouldn’t let anyone, you specifically, mess with this. I owe her a great debt. I won’t break my promise to her.”

Tony had grudgingly admitted that sounded magnanimously reasonable, “I mean, I just want to look and admire. These Wakandans opened some out-reach centers and then they just drop a casual ‘hey, we’re the most advanced country in the world by the way’ bomb and expect me, Tony Stark, to not have questions, to not be curious, to not at least want to know how we can work together?!”

Bucky just smiled, “just take a look at the arm before you manage to become even more childish.”

Tony bowed cheekily and said, “as you wish.”

Bucky stripped his shirt off and tossed it on the desk beside the chairs, “I’ll pretend I understand that reference so you don’t lecture me with more useless information about the difference between the War of the Stars and that Star Travel thing.”

Tony looked completely scandalized and momentarily distracted, “do you mean STAR WARS and STAR TREK!?”

Bucky shrugged and Tony spent a full moment reeling in his Pop Culture wrath and reminding himself that looking at Bucky’s arm was the goal here. He bent over and started his inspection, touching and stroking to get a feel for the metal and the weight. He asked Bucky to make all sorts of hand and arm motions. It was indeed technology beyond what Tony had ever encountered except maybe Asgardian tech.

Tony wasn’t sure if it was 10 minutes or 100 minutes later when his eyes caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eyes. Bucky’s hips had twitched as Tony’s fingers trailed across the palm of the metal appendage. He looked away from the arm to find Bucky’s pants suspiciously tented.

Tony immediately put two and two together, “you have sensation on the surface!?”

Bucky smiled, nodding, “yeah, it’s amazing right?”

Tony looked down again then back up at Bucky’s face, “you’ve just been sitting here letting me touch your arm everywhere and you could feel it the whole time?!”

Bucking shrugged, “not like I minded. It felt good.” He nodded towards Tony’s crotch, “how do you explain that?”

Tony looked down confusedly before coming to the startling realization that he was also sporting a semi in his lounge pants. He felt heat traveling up his neck and face as he replied, “um, I really like new technology?”

Bucky just leaned over and pressed their mouths together in a hard kiss. Tony responded instantly, moaning as a clever tongue moved over his lips before diving in to explore the minute Tony opened for more. Tony stood to pull Bucky up with the intention of getting them both over to the couch, but the second he was up Bucky was coming off the chair and dropping to his knees in front of Tony.

Tony protested as Bucky pressed him back into the desk behind him, “hey, no, the couch, I was going to get my mouth all over you. I want…” Tony trailed off his token complaint when Bucky looked up at him and said, “I got here first.”

Tony smiled, “well, ok, but I was really looking forward to blowing you…”

Bucky quirked his mouth up in a playful smirk, “are you turning down a blow job?”

Tony huffed, “well, when you put it that way…”

Tony trailed off when Bucky looked at him with solemn eyes, “I need to do this.”

Tony titled his head to the side considering, “why?”

“Because I need you to look at me and see someone who will yield to you, someone who is capable of gentleness.”

Tony nodded in understanding, moving his hands to grip the edge of the desk and Bucky smiled before returning to the task of getting Tony’s pants down. Tony had a thought and slid one hand into Bucky’s hair to get his attention again, “not always though, right?” Tony asked.

Bucky made a humming noise in question so Tony clarified, “you’re not always gonna want to be gentle, right?”

When a pair of burning blue eyes looked up at Tony he lost his breath. Bucky’s voice had dropped down when he responded, “no, sugar, not always.”

Tony was glad one hand was still gripping the desk and he had leaned on it for support because his knees honest to god went fucking weak.

Bucky raked his teeth across one of Tony’s still cloth-covered thighs, “you like endearments?”

“Not until this second,” Tony responded shakily.

Bucky laughed, delighted and finished working Tony’s pants and underwear over his cock and down his thighs. Once he got his mouth around Tony, composure went out the window. It was honestly one of the best blow jobs Tony had ever gotten, and that was saying something honestly. Fuck. Bucky hadn’t been kidding about being gentle either. He took Tony apart with kitten licks and soft suction, his thumbs rubbing easy circles in the jut of Tony’s hipbones.

Tony’s hand already gripping the table gripped harder and the hand in Bucky’s hair found purchase in the strands, trying not to pull too tight. Tony’s orgasm actually caught him by surprise and Bucky’s swallowed it all before Tony dropped down to meet Bucky on his knees on the floor.

Tony still had a hand in Bucky’s hair, which he used to pull him into a kiss, licking his way into Bucky’s mouth to taste himself there with a groan, “do I have to be gentle too?” Tony asked.

Bucky shook his head, panting a little and sucking it a breath with Tony used the grip in his hair to pull his head backwards to leave biting kisses down Bucky’s neck.

Tony growled, “get yourself out for me… _sugar_.”

Bucky moaned and laughed at the same time, hurrying to undo the button and zipper of his jeans to shove them down his thighs. Tony reached into a drawer of the desk where he knew he kept hand cream for when his hands got too rough from working. He managed to get some into his hand while keeping a tight grip on Bucky’s hair and his mouth on his collarbone now.

Tony wrapped his hand around Bucky’s cock, just a big as he thought it would be but not overly large and giving smooth, sure pulls with a squeeze and twist at the head, just like Tony liked it. Bucky thrust into his hand with a groan and Tony moved back up to his mouth to capture all those noises with his lips.

It didn’t take long, they were both still keyed up from the arm evaluation. Bucky gasped into Tony’s mouth as he came all over Tony’s shirt and his own bare chest.

Bucky grinned at Tony, “forget what Shuri said, you can examine my arm anytime.”

Tony burst out laughing, reaching for some Kleenex. Once they were situated back on their chairs Tony waved his hand at Bucky’s arm, “maybe Shuri has a point about their advanced technology because that thing is fantastic. But, you know, maybe I could also be that technologically advanced if I had unlimited quantities of vibranium.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “it’s not a contest.”

Tony gave a hurmph, “er, yes it is. Who told you it wasn’t?”

“Jeez, Tony, maybe just ask Shuri if she’d let you see the schematics. It would be nice I suppose for you to know how it works if it gets broken during an Avengers fight.”

“I’ll reach out to T’Challa about it,” Tony laid his hand on the metal one more time, “and in the meantime, let me know if you need help with it.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Tony looked away from the arm and up at Bucky, hesitating a second before asking, “how are things…” and tapping his temple.

Bucky shrugged, “most days, whatever Shuri did helps me manage it.”

Tony looked startled, “what do you mean, whatever Shuri did?”

“Well, she didn’t just remove the trigger words. She brought forth all the parts of my brain that HYDRA tried to wipe away. You know? Like how I knew killing innocent people was bad and that I loved Steve and how Brooklyn smelled and that I liked strawberries…” Bucky trailed off.

Tony nodded in understanding, “it’s a lot easier to deal with the bad memories when you’ve got good ones to fight them with.”

Tony turned the chair to fiddle with something at his workbench, “when I have bad thoughts, flashbacks, I think about what Pepper’s hugs feel like.”

Bucky smiled, “I think about the way my mama used to pat my cheek like this,” he cupped his hand around Tony’s cheek and then did this sort of gentle slap three times.

Tony laughed, “that’s oddly soothing. What else do you think about?”

Bucky thought for a minute, “having to lean down to kiss Steve. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss him being sick and knocked around all the time, but I do miss being able to gather him up in my arms and tip him back just a little to lay one on him.”

They sat in silence for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts until Tony said, “I’m glad you have that. I’ve got so many bad memories, so many awful thoughts. I don’t even know what sort of messed up I’d be if I didn’t have the good ones in there too, even if they are few and far between.”

Tony looked up suddenly like he’d had a new thought, “did she do anything to the, uh, the soldier’s memories?”

Bucky was already shaking his head no before Tony finished, “no, and I’m glad she didn’t. I wouldn’t have wanted her to. I need to remember them.”

Tony scratched at his goatee, eyes tracking away from Bucky’s, “that’s… you told me… I remember them all.”

“And someone should. Who better than me? I owe it to them.”

Tony was shaking his head now but Bucky’s mouth was a straight, determined line, “no, now, listen. It’s not penance. It’s absolution.”

Tony snapped his mouth shut.

Bucky reached for his hands, holding them in his own, “the Winter Soldier didn’t have any emotions, not a single thought that wasn’t given to him. So, when I relive those memories I’m horrified and sad and angry and guilt-ridden. But I don’t remember feeling horrified or sad or anything. The soldier’s memories are death and destruction, not emotions. That helps. Believe it or not, that helps.”

Tony took a minute to look into those bright blue eyes before nodding, “I understand.”

“You help too. Steve, he…” Bucky seemed to be searching for the right words, “he tries, you know? And sometimes it’s enough. But sometimes, he just can’t understand. He can’t know like you know,” Bucky reached up and tapped at Tony’s temple in a mirroring of Tony’s earlier gesture, “you made that room for me. You created this space I could go and not feel cornered or trapped because you know what that feels like.”

Tony grimaced, “we’re a fucking mess, right?”

Bucky smiled, bright and sudden, “but we’re a mess together.”

“Plus Steve,” Tony smiled back.

Bucky chuckled, “don’t you worry, Steve can be a huge fucking mess sometimes… in a different way.”

Tony brightened, a grin lighting up his face, “did Natasha tell you about the time he jumped out of a plane without a parachute?”

Bucky’s mouth dropped open, “he did fucking what?”

Tony just grinned harder and Bucky kissed each of Tony’s hands before letting them go and standing up, “if you’ll excuse me, I need to go kill… no, kiss… no, knock some fucking sense into Captain America.”

Tony’s laugh followed Bucky out of the lab.

 

The other Avengers seemed to have taken it all in stride. Steve and Bucky’s obvious pleasure at being able to show affection in front of the team was both adorable to watch and heart-breaking to consider. The first time Bucky had taken Tony’s hand and kissed the back of it before handing him his coffee cup, a silent and swift shift in understanding had rippled around the breakfast table. For a group of spies and superheroes their concern was comically obvious as they all turned their heads from Tony and Bucky to look at Steve who was looking at the scene with a soft smile. When Steve only turned his attention back to his waffle the other Avengers all shrugged and did the same.

Steve had taken to joining Tony in the lab for hours at a time while he worked. He rarely bothered Tony or tried to distract him. He seemed to be most happy in the corner, on the couch, sketching and sharing space. Tony sometimes spoke to him, sharing thoughts and ideas. Other times he was so absorbed in his work that he failed to notice either Steve showing up or Steve leaving until the other man made his presence known.

Tony had been standing in front of a large hologram of his newest software program when he suddenly felt someone behind him. He turned to find Steve with a wrinkle in his brow, “you know I don’t normally interrupt you, but you seem stressed.”

Tony scrubbed a hand over his face and made a frustrated noise, “I can’t figure out where the degradation in this string of code is happening.”

Steve smiled, “you need a distraction. Sometimes, when you walk away from a problem you can come back to it later with fresh eyes.”

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that? Just walk away from the problem,” Tony’s voice was laced with sarcasm and he was being sharp, but he was just so irritated at the problem and he was taking it out on Steve.

Steve seemed to sense this and while his irritation was rising to meet Tony’s, he tried to shove it ruthlessly down. He was too accustomed to Tony’s fits to let it bother him, especially now the they were dating. Steve understood now that Tony’s meanness normally stemmed from some internal struggle he was having and Steve just needed to be patient instead of making it personal.

The wrinkle in Steve’s brow grew, but he just said, “you need a distraction.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I need to figure out this…”

That was all Tony got out before he was being pulled into a searing kiss. Steve used just enough of his strength to keep Tony held up on his toes, flush against Steve’s body. One of Steve’s arms had snaked around Tony’s waist, with the other hand resting on the back of his neck.

Tony made a noise of protest, mostly an objection to being distracted – which seemed to have been Steve’s plan all along – but Steve simply tightened the hand on the back of Tony’s neck, not to the point of pain, but merely a reminder to Tony that Steve was committed to this mission, as he saw it, to get Tony out of his own head.

Tony could have made an effort to pull away and Steve would have let him go of course, but when his initial reaction of irritation faded Tony found himself eager to continue his argument with Steve using body language. The kiss was rough as Tony thrust his tongue into Steve’s mouth in return, then bit at his bottom lip. Tony’s hands came up to grip Steve’s hair and that elicited a moan.

Before Tony could make a decision between the desk and the rolling chair, Steve had picked him up and carried him over to the couch. He lowered Tony down and covered him with his body. Just like that, they were making out on the couch like fucking teenagers. Tony wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist again once he settled, locking him into place so that Tony could roll his hips up into Steve’s.

Damn it. Tony hadn’t come in his pants in at least 2 decades, but it was dangerously close to happening. Steve didn’t seem to be in any better shape, he was making soft, groaning noises into Tony’s mouth as their tongues slid together. Tony felt Steve, large and very hard through the fabric of their lounge pants.

Suddenly, Steve flipped them in some death-defying maneuver that managed to get Tony on top of him without rolling them off the couch. Tony set-up, his hips now straddling Steve’s waist, confused, “you and Bucky seem remarkably determined for me to be in charge of these situations.”

For a minute Tony thought Steve might try to play dumb but then he shrugged, “we want you to feel in control of everything, at least at first. If being in control isn’t normally your thing, that’s fine. But, I don’t want you to feel pushed or crowded or…”

Tony frowned, “is this like the fighting thing? Do you think I have a problem with your nearness? Or do you have a problem with being physical with me?”

Steve huffed and thrust his hips up into Tony, who could still very much feel how turned on Steve was, “I clearly don’t have a problem with being physical with you.”

Tony raised one eyebrow, “did Captain America just make a sex joke while grinding me? I feel aroused and proud and scandalized.”

Steve laughed, a genuine one, before sighing, “Look, just humor us for a bit, okay? Just let Bucky and I get used to the idea that you’re okay with our strength.”

Tony scoffed, “I like your strength. I’m the one who saw red, remember? I blasted you. I ripped his arm off. You’re both not the only ones who get to feel grateful for the acceptance. Maybe we should all stop apologizing and get on with it.”

Steve grinned, “that seems fair.”

“Agreed,” came Bucky’s voice from a few feet away. Both Steve and Tony startled, their heads whipping around to find Bucky leaning against a workbench a few feet away.

Tony griped, “you’re like a fucking cat. Don’t make me get a bell for you.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “and you both should be more vigilant.”

Steve shrugged, “if we’d been in danger FRIDAY would have said something.”

“Indeed, Captain Rogers,” came the immediate reply.

Bucky sat down in one of Tony’s rolling chairs, turning it to face Steve and Tony on the couch, “continue.”

Tony almost purred, “oh, kinky. You’re going to watch. I haven’t done voyeurism in decades.”

Tony looked down in question to Steve who seemed to be both a little pink in the cheeks and breathless, “this is new, but, you know, ok?”

Bucky chuckled, “don’t lie Punk, I can hear your heart beat.”

Steve snorted, but was startled into silence when Tony’s hand settled over his throat. He didn’t squeeze or press, just rested it there and his eyes lit up when Steve let out a soft, surprised whimper.

“You mentioned control, I’m just testing the waters. Thoughts?”

Steve nodded, “is this something you like to do or something you like done too?”

Tony shook his head, “I can’t have things around my throat.”

They both heard a soft gasp and looked over to see Bucky staring down at his hands. Steve made a noise of protest, but it was Tony that reigned in the situation with a sharp voice, “don’t go thinking for a fucking second that it has anything to do with you, Barnes.”

Tony knew without a doubt that Bucky was replaying the moments in that God awful video Tony had watched over and over again until all he could see was the Winter Soldier with his hand around Maria Stark’s throat. But not Bucky, it hadn’t been Bucky.

Tony spoke again, “Look at me, Bucky. Look at me.”

Bright blue eyes looked up through dark strands of hair, “not you, do you understand me? It’s because of Afghanistan, and I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Bucky nodded and Tony turned his attention back to Steve, shifting his hips to try and regain the ground they’d lost to the moment.

Tony tightened his hand fractionally on Steve’s throat, his touch still light, “this I can do though.”

Steve moaned again, gripping Tony’s hips and moving him down as Steve thrust up. Tony groaned and moved his hand to press both palms onto Steve’s chest, leaning down to kiss him hungrily. Tony could feel the heat traveling up his spine and just like that he was back around to coming in his pants like a teenager.

Tony refused to go out like that. He was 45, if anybody asked. He could damn well at least get his pants down. He fumbled with his own pants, and managed to get them down far enough to be to just under his balls. Steve, bless him, was already working on pulling his own down, easier since his legs were together. The logistics were messy but Tony didn’t give a flying fuck because when he got his dick up against Steve’s and Steve’s hand around both of them he thought he might cry with happiness.

Tony may have made a small noise of joy before abandoning his pride and fucking up into Steve’s hand with determination. He curled down to lick into Steve’s mouth; Tony lightly scratched his fingers down Steve’s pecks and over his nipples. That caused a nice reaction; a twitch and a moan as Steve’s hand speed up.

Tony felt the heat up his spine drop low and sudden into his gut and he was coming all over Steve’s hand and chest, even a drop or two on his chin, which Tony helpfully licked up. That seemed to be the final straw for Steve who uttered a stunned string of curse words that made Tony grin as Steve also came all over the mess Tony had already made.

They heard a clatter that was the rolling chair being shoved backwards and Bucky was right there, his tongue licking a long path through their combined mess on Steve’s stomach.

“Bucky,” the name punched out of Steve and Tony felt the super soldier stirring again under him.

Tony muttered something about damn serum even as his own body tried valiantly to participate again. It wasn’t gonna happen. He slipped off of Steve and the couch, tucking himself back in before going to retrieve the rolling chair to sit in it, his legs stretched out and his arms crossed.

He looked over as Bucky climbed on top of Steve right where Tony had been and looked over at him, “continue,” was all Tony said and Bucky smirked as he stripped his shirt off and threw it at Tony as he was leaning down to kiss Steve.

 

It’s been a few weeks and threesome date number two was going off without a hitch. It’s more public than any of their other dates, but Tony chose it for its exclusivity. The Met was having a private opening of its newest gallery themed around oil on canvas in the early 20th century. It brought in quite the crowd, but it was closed to the press and general public. Steve is enamored of course, walking to each painting and standing in front of it.

Bucky, it had to be said, it looking rather shaky if still dashing in his tux. Tony had tried to give him space to sort out whatever he’s experiencing, but Bucky’s nervousness seemed to be increasing as they followed Steve through the crowd from painting to painting.

“Steve,” Tony tapped him on the shoulder and gestured towards the makeshift bar in the corner of the room, “Bucky and I are going to go get drinks.”

Steve nodded with a smile and turned back to the Matisse he’d been staring at. Tony drug Bucky over to the bar, he seemed shifty but fine, and ordered something for both of them before moving them towards the side of the bar out of the way of the drinking crowd, their back to the wall, and the room laid out in front of them.

Tony took a calm sip of his drink before slowly reaching over and lacing his fingers through Bucky’s hand to squeeze. He kept his voice is low and calm, “this is a defensible position. Our backs are to the wall. We could take cover behind the bar in a pinch. All the exits are within view as are all the people. From this location no one can attack you from behind and no one can advance on you without you seeing their approach.”

Tony looked over in time to see Bucky take a deep breath in and out, his hand flexing in Tony’s, the tightness by his eyes evening out, “how did you know?”

Tony watched as Steve’s head tilted slightly in their direction and knows he’s listening across the 25 or so feet separating them. So, not as indifferent to the situation as Tony had first assessed, just willing to give Bucky the space to deal with it if he could and then willing to let Tony take the lead.

“This is the first time I’ve seen you react like this to us being out in public,” Tony simply phrased it as a fact.

Bucky shrugged, “this is the first time I’ve really had to deal with a crowd in a large open space since I came out of cryo freeze with the solider gone.” He looked over at Tony and repeated, “how did you know?”

Tony grimaced, “I told you, I’ve got issues for days. After Afghanistan I couldn’t do crowds. When I had to I needed a wall behind me and a direct line of sight to an exit at all times. I couldn’t stand hands on me. I didn’t like water covering my head or getting in my face. Loud noises were tough. It was the usual I-survived-torture-starter-kit. Then there was the black hole nuclear bomb thing and total darkness was a big no for a long time after that. I had panic attacks. Anyway, that’s how I knew.”

Tony saw Steve flinch but there was nothing he could do about that. Steve knew enough. He knew a lot really. And any relationship the three of them were going to have was going to involve them figuring out Tony had nightmares.

Tony felt Bucky’s thumb stroking over his hand, “does joking about it help you cope with it?”

“Well, to be honest, the Stark method of coping is what I like to call the I.P. Protocol. Ignore and Proceed. But when that doesn’t work, I make jokes. When that doesn’t work, I work until I can’t see straight or remember what day it is. Time sorta takes care of the rest.”

Bucky finally took a drink of the champagne Tony had placed in his hand as Tony asked, “what are you doing to cope?”

“Well, knowing that I can’t be triggered anymore helps a lot. Not with the guilt, but with the anxiety. Unfortunately, I still have the soldier’s memories beside my own now which means I have his training and it makes certain things, difficult. Right now? You’re helping me cope.”

Tony followed Bucky’s gaze to where Steve was still tactfully turned away from their conversation. His face softened as he said, “Steve helps me too, you know?”

Tony smiled, “I’m familiar.”

Bucky smiled back at Tony, “yeah, he just believes in me so much.”

Tony made a mock-confused face, “oh, this is awkward, I thought you were talking about the way his ass looks in that tux. Because that is definitely helping me cope right now.”

Bucky’s laughter burst out suddenly and musically; Tony felt it like a physical brush along his skin. Tony could almost see Steve’s blush from where he and Bucky are standing as Steve turned to give them a mock glare.

Bucky clinked his glass against Tony’s in a salute, “maybe you’re right about joking helping too.”

 

By the time they make it back to the tower it’s late, but Tony invites them up to his floor because he’s hell bent on proving to Steve that he owns an actual Picasso.

“Then why haven’t I seen it before?” Steve sounds like the art snob he is.

Tony whacks Steve on the arm, “probably because you’ve never been in my bathroom, duh.”

Steve looked like he was suddenly in actual pain, “oh my God Tony, no. You can’t put a Picasso in the bathroom!”

Bucky made a sound like a dying whale because he’s finally laughing so hard he can’t breathe.

“Fucking hell Steve, calm down, it’s in the alcove between the door to my master bathroom and walk-in closet,” Tony walked through his living space, leading them into the bedroom and across to said alcove with FRIDAY helpfully assisting with the lights as they go.

It is, in fact, a Picasso. Steve huffs at being proven wrong. Bucky meanwhile has stopped laughing long enough to survey the rest of the open floor plan, his gaze falling naturally to the king bed.

When Steve and Tony move out of the alcove they find Bucky collapsed back onto the bed with the first few buttons of his tux shirt undone and a smirk on his face. Steve rolled his eyes fondly because he knew all of Bucky’s tricks, even if he hadn’t seen some of them in 70 years.

Tony though came to an abrupt halt and gawked at the bed, “holy shit, it worked.”

Steve looked confused, “what worked?”

Tony grinned, “luring you up here with my painting.”

“Luring?” Steve looked affronted that someone would dare use art as bait.

“Consider me lured,” Bucky kept going with his buttons.

Tony groaned and started on his own button, tossing his coat somewhere behind him, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you both to take the kid gloves off without actually spelling out ‘let’s have sex’ in Christmas lights on the side of the tower, but Pepper said I’m not allowed to do that again.”

Steve laughed while toeing off his shoes and Bucky crawled further onto the bed with everything gone but his slacks. Tony was next to follow him down onto the bed, mostly naked. He crawled over Bucky who opened his legs for Tony to settle down between them. Bucky pulled Tony’s lips down to his with a hand around the back of his neck and kissed him hungrily, a familiar act now but a new position.

Steve had undressed down to his slacks but had not joined the pair on the bed. He wanted to watch for a minute. He wanted to enjoy watching these two men that he loved both so much. The similarities, the differences, the way they moved, the small groans and the press of tongues was all laid out for Steve to drink in.

Tony broke the kiss to trail his lips down Bucky’s throat and Steve’s eyes landed on Bucky’s lust-blown ones as metal fingers beckoned him, “come ’ere Punk.”

Steve crawled onto the bed behind Tony and pressed his lips to Bucky’s before peppering them down Bucky’s chin, across to the back of Tony’s neck, and down Tony’s spine. Tony gasped halfway through exploring Bucky’s magnificent chest when Steve surprised him by biting down right on his left ass cheek.

Bucky chuckled, “that’s the universal signal for turn over.”

Tony rolled over with a slight grumble, “it better also be his universal signal for I’m going give you a spectacular blow job. Jeez, some of us can bruise.”

Once Tony is settled with his back to Bucky’s chest and Bucky’s arms around him he’s met with an unapologetic smile from Steve, “I’ve seen the bruises you give yourself testing new armor. I refuse to apologize for a love bite.”

Tony shrugged and wriggled a bit just to feel Bucky's cock pressing into his lower back and smirked at the soft moan he got in response and the flicker of a tongue in his ear. Steve maneuvered up the bed to kiss both Bucky and Tony with equal enthusiasm before going back down to pull Tony’s boxers off and to settle between Tony’s legs, his arms coming up to cradle each of Tony’s thighs on his massive shoulders.

Tony had a hysterical moment to think about Captain America sucking his dick and what a fucking turn his life had taken. Had he and Steve always wanted to end up here? Everyone seemed to think so. All those years of angry snipping and they could have been having fantastic angry sex. Who knew?

Tony lost his train of thought when Steve began tentative licks to the head of his cock before wrapping his lips around the tip and sliding down. Tony was going to having to take back every apple pie, truth and justice, purity joke he’d ever made at Steve’s expense. Fucking hell, he was good at this. Damn him. Tony shivered when he felt cool metal flicker over his left nipple.

Bucky’s lips trailed down Tony’s neck and then back up before he whispered, “he’s great at this right? The clever little flick at the top before he slides back down.”

Tony gave a loud moan, “fuck yes, I knew you’d have a dirty mouth.”

“So you thought about it… my mouth?” Tony could hear the smirk in Bucky’s voice.

“How could I not after the lab a few weeks ago. I got a hint of it when you called me sugar. A charmer like you? I knew you had to like talking filth in bed,” Tony let out another moan, he was so close.

“It is a shame though Tony,” Bucky’s tongue was back in his ear and it made Tony hot all over, “because it was normally something I only did with the ladies. Steve isn’t a fan. It makes him blush when I tell him how good his lips looked wrapped around me or when I call him names like sugar or doll.”

Sure enough, Tony could see a beautiful pink blush spread across Steve’s cheeks and down his neck. Fascinating.

“But, I’d do it for you,” Bucky purred in Tony’s ear, “you close?”

“So close,” Tony was trying not to undulate his hips up towards Steve or arch his chest up towards Bucky’s clever fingers. He was right on the edge.

Steve gave on last suck, his fingers tightening on Tony’s thighs as Bucky bit down into the tendon where Tony’s neck and shoulder met. That was it. Tony came like a rocket, his vision whiting out for a second. Steve took everything he had to give and while Tony was still coming down Steve crawled up the bed to claim Tony’s mouth in a rough kiss, his tongue thrusting in to caress Tony’s and share his taste on Steve’s tongue.

Tony rolled up and over and off Bucky to collapse on the bed beside the two super soldiers, “I think you broke me. I’m gonna need a few minutes before I’m ready for round three.”

“What is round three?” Steve said just as Bucky asked, “what is round two?”

Tony smiled and propped himself up on his side, “round three is one of you fucking me into the mattress. Round two is one of you fucking the other into the mattress.”

They both groaned as Tony continued, “do you have a preference? With each other, I mean.”

Bucky shrugged, “we used to, when Steve was smaller I didn’t want to hurt him…”

Steve scoffed, “which was stupid, I could’ve taken it…”

Bucky rolled his eyes, … the point is that it doesn’t matter now so we switch it up.”

Steve closed the Tony-sized gap that had been between he and Bucky to kiss him before saying, “I want you to fuck me.”

Tony reached into the bedside table for lube and practically threw it at Bucky, “yes, yep, now, please.”

Watching Bucky take Steve apart minute by agonizing minute was the hottest thing Tony had ever witnessed. Steve had insisted on laying down on the bed, on his back with Bucky kneeling between his legs to prep him. Tony for his part just ran his finger tips up an down Steve’s ripped stomach, tracing a finger top around each nipple.

Bucky worked his fingers into Steve with sharp movements, something Steve liked if the breathy moans and incessant shift of his hips was anything to go by. They both seemed impatient to get off, worked up from the attention they gave Tony. In no time at all, Steve was trying to urge Bucky forward with a grip on his hips.

Steve tossed his head back when Bucky retaliated by leaning down to bite his neck. Steve whined, “fuck, Buck, come on. I can take it. Hurry up.”

For just a second Tony thought Bucky was going to prolong Steve’s apparent suffering, was going to dig his heels in and be obstinate, but his need to orgasm won out and he moved to position himself against Steve.

It was a slow roll of Bucky’s hips that buried him in Steve, but it didn’t stay slow. For all of Bucky’s command of Steve, the blond was doing an excellent job of topping from the bottom, his noises and motions all urging Bucky to a pace that Steve seemed to crave.

It was beautiful and powerful watching the two of them come together, literally, almost in sync. Tony was stunned and, hey would you look at that, very aroused again. Bucky made to pull away from Steve but Tony was up on his knees in a flash, he reached out to grip his hand around the back of Bucky’s neck, squeezing before saying, “stay.”

Bucky’s head dropped down, exposing more of his neck, and his breath left him with a whoosh. Tony stroked his hand down Bucky’s spine feeling the ripple it caused in his muscles. Steve gasped just as Bucky’s hips shifted against him and Tony was sure they were both almost already hard again.

Tony reached for the lube, “change of plans for round three thanks to the serum and my brilliant, creative mind.”

Steve chuckled and Bucky lowed himself onto his forearms, still inside Steve, so that they could press together and trade lazy kisses, “so what’s the new plan,” Bucky said.

“I’m thinking I should fuck you through another round of you and Steve going at it. We’ve got to work on this threesome coordination some time. Practice makes perfect and all that, right?”

Bucky’s words were muffled into Steve’s neck and all Tony heard in response was a hissing noise so he said, “what was that?” just to make sure it wasn’t a no before he moved behind Bucky.

Steve laughed, “He said, hell yeah.”

By the time Tony slid home into Bucky, Steve was moving his hips restlessly. Tony knew he’d have more time with his second orgasm, but he still wasn’t super solider levels of stamina. His best course of action would be hard and fast. He set a brutal pace, pushing his strong, lithe, but human body. Tony’s sweet reward was the should-be-illegal shout that it ripped from Bucky’s beautiful mouth.

Steve’s legs came-up off the bed to wrap around Bucky’s waist to leverage himself up as Tony thrust down and between the two of them Bucky barely had to do any work, which was good because he was flying apart between them. Steve came first again and Tony had a scant moment of scientific thought about Steve’s version of the serum and being more sensitive than Bucky.

Steve’s legs slide down from Bucky’s lower back till his calves were somehow trapping Bucky’s thighs up and out. It gave the illusion that Steve was holding Bucky open for Tony and fuck that was an image. Bucky was thrusting back wildly against Tony as much as his range of motion would let him, chasing his pleasure. Tony felt a lurching sensation behind his navel and knew his second orgasm was about to be dragged out of him. He angled as best he could to grind into Bucky’s prostate as Tony sunk his teeth lightly into the back of Bucky’s neck.

Bucky came again with a shout and what Tony dimly thought sounded like fabric ripping… he was going to need so many new sets of sheets moving forward. Oh well, sacrifices had to be made. Tony collapsed to the side of Steve and let Bucky finally pull out and collapse to the other. There would need to be cleanup and sleeping, and maybe water and food after that goddamn work out. But, right now, he just wanted to listen to all of them trying to catch their breath together.

 

Bucky punched a zombie in the face before screaming over the comms, “are you fucking kidding me?! Nazi zombies?!”

He heard Tony’s manic laughter in his ear, “even Clint and I couldn’t make this shit up. What is it with this week?!”

Steve’s voice was breathless with exertion, “Let’s just stay focused. Tony, Clint needs a fly by extract on the corner of Vanderbilt and Fifth. Nastasha, you and Bucky and Hulk keep pushing them back towards Sam and I.”

They had about corralled or killed all of the zombies when a familiar aircraft swooped in low and the Black Panther dropped from one of the hatches into the battle. A familiar voice interrupted their comm feed, “we were in the area and we thought we’d drop in on the party.”

Bucky and Steve both laughed and Bucky said, “Shuri! You talked T’Challa into this no doubt.”

Her enthusiasm was infectious as she responded, “I may have said something like ‘are you or are you not an Avenger’.”

Bucky lept over a hoard of the undead, hand guns blazing, as Steve said, “well, we could always use the help.”

T’Challa’s voice came over the comms, “I told Shuri you actually did not need help, but she wanted to see Sergeant Barnes again. I told her she already has one brother, she doesn’t need another one.”

Shuri said, “yes I do,” just as Bucky said, “yes she does.”

“Hah!” Shuri yelled as she fired at a contingent of zombie Nazis with the aircraft, “I missed you White Wolf.”

Bucky could just fucking hear the delight in Tony’s voice when he said, “White Wolf is it?” over the comms.

Bucky rolled his eyes though no one could see him, “stuff it, Iron Man.”

 

A few days later Tony was still suffering through the zombie Nazi problem. Where did they come from? _How_ did they come from? _Who_ did they come from? The lab was a mess of 3D models, notes, computers constantly running data under FRIDAY’s watchful eye, and Tony slumped in a rolling chair with his eighth, no ninth, cup of coffee in hand and a gleam in his eye.

Tony startled when he heard a soft laugh to his right and he jerked around to see Steve and Bucky on the couch in the lab. Steve was sitting up with Bucky’s feet in his lap and a sketchpad precariously balanced on top of that. Bucky was sprawled across the couch with what looked suspiciously like one of the Harry Potter books in his hand.

Tony hadn’t heard them come in or sprawl onto the couch. They hadn’t bothered him to eat or go to bed. They had simply come down to share space with him it seemed, since he was pretty sure this was maybe hour 38 in the lab. Short by Tony Stark standards, but he had been trying to do better… when he remembered to.

Tony was so startled that he just blurted out, “What are you doing?”

Both super soldiers looked to him instantly and then looked confused as they each held up the object in their hand, “reading,” said Bucky, “drawing,” said Steve.

Tony rolled his eyes, “I know what you’re doing. I mean, you, you haven’t tried to take my coffee away, or interrupt me, or shove food down my throat, or coax me to bed, or… anything.”

Steve shrugged, “you’ve gone longer than this before on a lab binge. I’m not concerned yet. But we both just wanted to be near you for a bit so, um, sorry if we distracted you.”

Steve flushed a little no doubt thinking of the last time he had distracted Tony in the lab and Bucky just grinned like a cat that got the canary, “trust me sugar, if I wanted to coax you to bed, you’d be there.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, “just like that?”

By the soft smiles on both their faces, Tony sensed that they understood he wasn’t just talking about Bucky coaxing him to bed.

Steve’s voice held his uniquely sincere tone, “just like that.”

Tony stood up and moved towards the couch, Bucky sitting up to make room for Tony to spread out between them with his head in Bucky’s lap and his feet in Steve’s once he toed his shoes off.

“Maybe I can afford a small break,” Tony yawned even as he spoke, “and then a shower…”

His eyes were already closing as Steve circled his ankle with a warm hand and said, “… and there is a plate of lasagna in the fridge with your name on it.”

Tony felt Bucky’s lips in his hair as he drifted off and his voice softly saying something that sounded like, “just like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for fic previews and shenanigans!   
> I'm also SilverSlashes over there.   
> https://silverslashes.tumblr.com/


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